This story is a prequel to one of Shakespeare’s most popular plays: The Tempest. It is set exactly 100 years before the events of The Tempest and is a short action packed three days of The Sycorax’s life. It is a first person (excluding the prologue), past tense fan fiction fantasy, but it is not written in old English! I wrote it for my English homework and despite me only being in year 9; it was GCSE graded. I don’t know what I got for it but I will find out soon. So that’s the basics of it and without further a due, I hope you enjoy!
One hundred years before the events of The Tempest, something happened. Something bad happened. Something so bad that if it had not have happened, the outcome of those poor stranded monarchs, on the island where the fierce storm took place, would have been completely different. So different that Prospero, a not yet born duke of Milan, and his young daughter, Miranda; would have died.
This was a time of bright sunny weather but strange happenings in the, small coastal, town of Seadon. This was where the Waterman’s lived. They were a small family, just the four: Mr Waterman, who was a busy man, had always been out in the city where he worked long days to earn his and his family’s living. He came home on the weekends to his wife and two teenage daughters. His daughters were called Sapphire, who was 15, and Ruby, who was 13. Odd names for the time but nether the less complemented by new people who they met. They both had brunette hair and blue eyes and could have easily been mistaken for twins. This was contradicted by their height, which varied only slightly.
They both went to Seadon Hill, which was the town’s only secondary school. Sapphire had the friends at the school, the sympathy, the security and scored with the boys but what did Ruby have? Nothing. A rubbish life, an accident in the dark, an outcast, that’s what she was. Her mum and dad didn’t care the slightest about her wellbeing or lifestyle. They fed her, kept a roof under her head but never appreciated who she actually was.
They couldn’t be bothered. Her dad was always away in the city and when he did come back all he could be interested in was seeing his wife then going to sleep after a relentless and draining week at work. His mum only cared about Sapphire as they had so much in common. Ruby was more like her dad but there was never any time to let the world see this similarity. It was like being the ghost in the background for Ruby, a ghost, which only a few people could actually see. She had no friends. She wasn’t accepted as bright although she did have an outstanding threshold of knowledge. She hated her life but despite the loneliness and hatred towards her mother and sister, she carried on.
She read books, one a night, filling herself with all of the world’s modern theories and concepts. And for what? So she could just be bullied and disowned even more? No, she wanted answers. That is what she was doing; finding out about life, why people can be so nasty and inhumanely cruel. She’d had enough. That was the final straw. She wanted out and so she did but it wasn’t easy. For someone who had been neglected and inflicted with lethal words for the whole of their life, to finally break away from the web of disrespect.
It took courage, something that she didn’t have, regardless of her broad concept for life itself. She had to though, she new it and it was on this one summers evening, one hundred years before a single royal vessel from Naples would end up wrecked on the coast of an unforgiving island, is when she finally broke free. A decision, which set the course of her life on the right path: the path of freedom. Or so she thought.
“For goodness sake, will you ever learn that life doesn’t revolve around you? That maybe, to be successful, you need to have an ounce of intelligence?” I got a slap for that. I was infuriated by her, how she can just think that she is the centre of all creation. My face was red, not only from that slap but because of my anger. I never had been a one of calmness: maybe that was what got me the abuse? I doubt it but in a world of hatred and rejection how else are you supposed to act?
“Maybe you should get a reality check girl. I’m the one with a life of love and happiness. I get the boys and the toys. And do you know why?” My sister rebelled.
“Yes because you’re a stuck up spoilt brat, who always gets her way because nobody has the brain capacity to understand the concept of loving more than one person at a time.” I had tears running down my face and overcomplicated emotions running through my body. I didn’t know what to do, whether I should just scream and fall on the floor in a heap of sorrow, or whether I should belt my sister with the back of my hand with so much force that she won’t know what century she is in.
“Do you want your face to be completely red?” She implied.
“For what purpose? To get your wanted satisfactory, or just for the sense of power?” The tears had stopped poring but they were about to come back. She slapped me so quick; I had no time to acknowledge the fact that I had just had the slap of the century. “OWW” I let out a cry of pain and covered my face with my hands. I cried hard; mainly because of the pain but also because of the neglect, which I get inflicted with. It felt like a cold and dark hole in your heart, which has no meaning or purpose but to tear your self sanity apart and to then through it back in your face. That’s what I felt and it hurt. It hurt a lot. So much that it physically hurt.
“I’ll take that as a yes then.” She walked over to me and whispered in my ear: “Trust me if you leave tonight and carry on packing that bag, then fine. We’ll all be happy. We’ll even thank you. But if you think that you are going to survive then you’re wrong like you always have been.”
And she left the room. The pain of not being wanted struck again and that was it. I’m going to leave, mum is shopping, dad is at work and Sapphire isn’t going to be speaking to me again: a perfect chance to break free from the hive and become an individual bee rather than a drone being forced to do all the dirty work. So I gathered my most precious belongings, not that there were many, and put them in a bag. I then snuck down the stairs trying not to cause any suspicion of leaving but I failed.
“Stop, Ruby, you don’t want to be doing this.” It was Sapphire, who was behind me at the top of the stairs. I turned around with the feel of guiltiness in my gut. I looked at her but surprisingly she looked as if she didn’t want me to leave. What possessed her to try and stop me?
“Why do you care? You said you wanted me gone.” I asked, quite confusingly.
“I do but if mum finds out then who is she going to blame? I’m your older sister and despite how much I want you gone; I can’t let you.” This was definitely not what I was expecting but nether the less I felt a surge of courage and confidence. It was a strange feeling, one I had never felt much before now. I felt good about my self courageous and brave. I don’t know why, they all want me to disappear of the face of the Earth. That was her mistake: she gave me that blip of happiness and that was enough to grant her one and only wish.
“Well maybe you should have thought of that before you went running your mouth.” Saying this I finished the last few steps. That felt good too, not having to go up those stairs ever again!
“Come back, Ruby, NOW.” She demanded my halt but as if I was going to listen to her. For thirteen years I had been listening to her stuck up and over self-pleased attitude. This was the end. I ran to the back door and slipped my rain jacket on faster than a cheetah. I put one shoe on and hopped while slipping on the other shoe but out of no where I was grabbed with uncalled-for force. I tried to resist but failed as I was wrestled to the ground. I t was Sapphire for sure and as I turned my head to see what was going on; I saw her hell glowing eyes, which I thought was quite hypocritical considering her name.
Despite the glowing eyes, her huge backswing for the inevitable punch was far too long. I must have instinctively raised my left hand to block it. She nearly broke my wrist and so with my right hand I gave her a short and unexpected jab in the jaw. She let out a flail of pain as she flew to the side with her hands on her face and cried. I was quite surprised about my strength and with one throbbing wrist and an adrenaline soaring fist, I ran out of the door and into the street but I only ran two steps before stopping dead in my tracks. It was raining but not only that; thunder and lightning simultaneously struck. There in front of me with evil and ghastly eyes was my mum. I froze not knowing what move to make next.
“What do you think you are doing misses?” she asked with the most horrifying kindness in her tone of voice.
“I’m leaving, for good. For thirteen years I’ve been listening to dad’s pointless business issues, your whining and nagging and Sapphire’s stuck up bitchiness. I’ve had enough and now I’m going.”
“HOW DARE YOU!” She struck me with her hand and I fell down to the floor. My face was stinging as if it had just been pricked with huge needles a couple of hundred times. I couldn’t believe my mum could do this, regardless of her neglect towards me. She put her hands on my throat and started to firmly grasp them. It can’t end like this. For all that I have learnt and all of the last ounces of courage that I have recovered, I can’t die like this and because of that a rush of power and control flew through me. I pushed her off and she flew down on the wet ground. I scrambled myself up and ran. Faster than I have ever ran before. Down the cobbled street, step by step I could hear the voice of freedom and the splash of salvation.
I ran and I didn’t stop until I reached the forest. I didn’t dare look back but this forest looked as inviting as my house. The only difference is that I don’t know what’s going to rip me apart if I do go in there. Despite its dark and gloomy content this forest was my way out; the door to the outside world. So I ran, skimming past the trees accelerating to my top speed. Jumping over logs and ducking under low lying branches, I didn’t have a clue about where I was running to but then I tripped. I flew to the floor before I could realise it myself and my face got buried in wet mud and leaves. I didn’t have the effort to get up; I was mentally and physically drained. I closed my eyes and felt cold hands grabbing my ankles. I couldn’t fight back, I didn’t want to. I gave in on myself and all of my effort. I failed.
I failed badly…
I felt drowsy. I couldn’t even feel my own limbs, maybe I was paralysed? I slowly opened my eyes, well tried to, before quickly shutting them because of the intensity of the light. They adjusted themselves and I squinted. I could see flames but they were just blurs. I then heard some voices, they seemed English but with a southern accent, a long way from here. But there’s another valid point: where is here?
I heard the voices again; at least my ears were working. “I think she’s waking up.”
“Oi, Sycorof, come over ‘ere, she’s awake.” I heard another voice, which sounded northern; possibly from Yorkshire but definitely not Scottish. Who was Satanax? There must have at least been three of them but then I heard a female’s voice. It just had to get better didn’t it!
“He is out hunting our food. Let her come around by herself, the drug should wear off soon. You two, make sure she’s comfortable when she wakes up properly, she’s been through a lot.” This woman sounded powerful and in control but at the same time, considerate and warm. I slowly let my self regain control as the flames warmed me even more. My eyes fully opened and I could twitch my fingers.
“C’mon love get up.” One of the men said.
“Oi watch it, she’s important.”
“Yeah and what?” He was obviously the most disloyal person among who ever these people were. I could now move my head and hands but that was all. Whatever sedative they used, it was strong because despite me starting to regain control of myself I felt as if I had just been hit by a mental tidal wave. I tried to sit up but half way I fell back to the floor and groaned with an effortless tone.
“That’s it girl get up. Sorry about the potion, I told Sycorom to weaken the dosage but she never listens to the young ones!” The disloyal man said, strange really considering he’d only just disrespected me.
“It’s not because you’re young, it’s because you’re irresponsible and untrustworthy at times.” The other man contradicted. I was sitting up by now and I rubbed my eyes because of the light intensity despite there only being a fire.
“How long was I out?” I asked but why that amongst other numerous questions, which I had loaded up in the query rifle.
“Twenty seven hours.” The woman called Sycorom said quite casually.
“What? You must be joking.”
“We don’t joke.” She replied rather viciously.
“Take it easy love.” The disloyal man snapped.
“Don’t love me or I’ll cut…”
“Wow what’s all this about? I go for fifteen minutes to get some food and then an argument storms up.” A man complained towards the other three. He was probably Sycorof but what were with the ‘Sycor’ names? “Oh you’re awake.” He then said, turning to me but in a lighter tone.
“Why did you take me? Where? Look I don’t know any of you and to be honest I don’t want to if all you can do is give me one hell of a knock out potion and kidnap me. And ‘potions’, do you think I’m going to buy that?”
“This one’s full of fire!” The disloyal man said.
“Shut up Sycoral, you’re not helping anyone with your immature and foolish gags. You’re in the Sycor Cell, so just you remember that, or else you’ll be exiled… for ever.” Sycorof must have been the leader or why else would he use offensive threats to control his people.
“Sycor Cell? What’s all this ‘Sycor’ naming and potions? I want answers before you get whatever you want out of me.” That put them in their places!
“Right, from the top I’ll tell you but with NO interruptions. Ok Ruby, we know you, more than you know yourself. We know what you like, why you like it, how you act and why you act like it. This may be a bit confusing but hang in and listen. We are a small cell from a global organization called Sykinesis, which basically specialises in magical anomalies and affairs. Our cell is called Sycor and we are the recruiting specialists for England.
We were assigned to come here and overlook your life until you finally became independent enough. The unexpected issue was the fact that your life is rough and bad for you. This in mind we didn’t know when you were going to become independent. Sycoral, for a change, did something good for once as he alerted us that you were running away from home. This indicated your independence had finally shown.”
“But why were you assigned to recruit me?”
“You were seen by the Preknowledger. He is the cleverest and wisest man to walk this planet but not only that; he can see the future and because of his special power he saw you. Yes you have been seen as an Oracle, someone who knows all and can do amazing things but not yet. You’re not ready. You need to pass the one and only test, which enables you to become part of the Sycor Cell.”
“I don’t really think you’ve got the right person. No one likes me and I’m just a thirteen year old girl. Plus I don’t want to get caught up in ‘magical’ affairs and anomalies. So overall, what makes you think that I am going to join you?” Then without any warning he raised his hand and firmly held his fingers as if he was holding an invisible bottle. Simultaneously I felt my throat being strangled and I immediately tried to run towards him and stop him but I couldn’t. I was stuck. I was choking. I was going to die.
“I do think I have the right person or else I wouldn’t have been sent to this small town for thirteen years. Thirteen years I have been waiting and you think that your young mind can contradict mine? You have a lot to learn and there are hardly any choices in life, not for anyone. Life is full of orders. If someone is giving you a choice they are actually giving you a two sided order. You are ordered to make one decision and it only becomes a choice when you have the ability to turn it away. Not even the Preknowledger can make choices because he has to make decisions. If he didn’t then our organization will fail so now do you understand why I am angry?” He calmed down and I had once again regained control of myself as he put his arm by his side.
“You’re telling me that every choice I have made has been an order? What kind of terminology is that?”
“The kind of terminology, which will make you stronger than you could’ve ever imagined. You now have a decision to make: Join us or die.”
“I suppose I have no choice…”
“It was an order.”
“Thank you, now make that decision.”
“What do I have to do?”
“It’s simple the one and only test, which can prove that a human can become a true super being; someone who can do anything and to not be afraid of it. The most terrifying test you will ever encounter.”
“And what might this test be?”
“To take the life of another human. Luckily for you, you have a motive don’t you?”
“You’re asking me to kill?”
“Yes I am and you know what you have to do.”
“Come on for all of the power you want and most importantly the love and respect, which you so desire, it can’t possibly be that hard to decide, can it?” So I stood there not knowing what to do with myself. I had the urge to just run and never turn back but then I wouldn’t survive. I didn’t know what to do or whether I could live with something like this. But then I remembered all of the bad things, which had happened to me. All of the beating. All of the disrespect. All of the humiliation. All of the pain. But most importantly, the fact that she tried to kill me. My own mum. And that was it:
“Yes, I will.”
I ran faster and more determined than ever before, under the damp and overwhelming forest of Seadon. Running with just me and the one thing, which will determine my life: A dagger, I could nearly see the clearing of the forest. This was a dagger of courage and strength, which could rip through any evil being with an effortless strike. I felt its power euphoriate through every last cell in my body and gage my mind on the one thing, which needs to be done.
I ran across an empty field where a cow stood there looking at me as if I was someone who it knew. With that thought I delivered evil eyes among the animal and it turned cowardly away and ran. I knew I had power, despite not being able to use it for thirteen years.
I came to a road and I was only a few turns from my house. The vengeance rushed through me ebbing and flowing through my body, building me to become someone I would never have dreamed about becoming. I kept on running until I reached my street and there in the middle of the road was the key to a new life. She was there staring at me with a face of pleasure and mass diabolical planning. She couldn’t have. She didn’t know. How?
“Nice to see you returned my little fiery gem.” She said sarcastically but with the slightest hint of evil wrapping around those untruthful words.
“Same here mother.”
“Why did you come back? I thought you wanted to go and never turn around into this life again.”
“I happened to meet some people who set me straight, who promised me more power than I would have ever dreamed of.”
“Might they be called Sykinesis by any chance?” I immediately felt an uneasy shock pound once in my gut. There was more to this life than I had anticipated and I guessed that all was about to be revealed.
“You don’t have to say anything darling; just listen. Did you think that I didn’t know about where you were? Did you think that all my life I have been cruel to you for no reason? You have no idea do you?” She walked forward but this was not making any sense at all.
“Don’t worry I’ll tell you. I am a witch and one far greater than any other. We ruled the world at one time where my mum was one of the most powerful beings to have ever lived. She, amongst others, controlled this planet but then they came along and destroyed our reign. They killed us and locked us away in a different dimension for all eternity. Apart from some, we got away. We survived the onslaught of our kind but were sadly under resourced.
We had no numbers, know spell books to teach the young and so we made the most secret plan ever to have been made. We kept low, let Sykinesis think that we were demolished but that was where they were wrong. We bread, we had children and were assigned to look after those children until they became old enough to make there own choices. Looks like you’ve already made that choice by running away.”
“There’s no such thing as choices.”
“Oh, and I supposed they told you their illogical theories too?
“Yes I suppose but this illogical theory has contradicted itself because it is completely logical. I came here to gain my right to total happiness and power. Now here’s the theory: you can do nothing to stop me because you… have… no… choice.”
“Well little girl to get your hypothesised bliss; you have to get pass me.”
“Oh no, you’re right where I want you to be.” With that I lunged forward with all my strength aiming for her heart. I roared as I thrust it through the air with immense power. Then she suddenly moved to the side, faster than I could acknowledge and pushed the dagger out of my hand. I still had momentum from the powerful strike and as a result of this I fell flat on my face. The cold pebbles didn’t help with the impact and I was nearly crying because of my pain. Despite this I found myself staggering up on two feet. I looked at her and almost simultaneously thunder roared and lightning shot down immediately followed by the bombardment of rain.
We stared at each other, eye to eye, as if we both wanted a victory, which we knew was hard to gain. I didn’t want this to happen but for all of the things that she had done to me and all of the things that I can get, which I have never had before. It’s worth the action, which I will have to make sooner or later.
“You can’t ever grasp the concept of complete magical power. I am the strongest there ever will be and all who oppose me shall fall with no dignity.”
“Well that’s where you’re wrong.”
“You’ll never learn” She raised her hand but I was ready and instinctively I jumped as the invisible force made impact with me. I flew back with too much speed but despite this; I leant back and in mid air I flipped backwards just in time to land perfectly on the floor. I couldn’t believe myself but there was no time to praise the unimaginable. She had her fist clenched but slowly she started to open it. I saw mystical white light escaping from the evil hand, which was encaging it. She opened her hand and there was a pulsating globe of white energy resting on her hand.
“Sorry Ruby but I have no choice; the Wise One saw that you would turn to something bad when you were older and you have. We had the order to kill any of our siblings if they turned against us.”
“But why be so inhumanly cruel for the whole of my life?”
“Because I felt your power, I new that you were meant for evil and so something had to be done to prevent this.”
“NO. You’re scared. You didn’t want me to go to a side, which actually gains its victory through helping the good. You didn’t want to see your own daughter become the stronger than yourself. The one thing that you might have got right is that I am meant for evil. And do you know why? Because I came from you.”
She was infuriated by this and then shouted an unearthly cry as she thrust her hand forward; releasing the white ball of energy towards me with velocity. I didn’t truly grasp the speed of the ball of hell but without any thinking, as if I have already known what to do in this scenario, I firmly, and flatly, held out the front of my hand and as the energy ball hit; I felt the strangest surge of power. I could feel it I could see my future right before me; powerful, wise and all for the good of humanity.
I didn’t stop though. The force kept on entering me through my arm, which was now shaking with pain. I couldn’t hold it but the ball of light was getting bigger and brighter in my hand. It was channelling through my mind; draining all of my energy in the process, I just couldn’t hold it.
“I TOLD YOU. NOW STOP BEFORE YOU MEET YOUR LAST THOUGHT.” She shouted over the pulsing beat of the energy flow. I hated to admit it but she could be right; I couldn’t hold the force. Then I thought of my future: I have two paths. I have been ordered to make the decision of my life and I made it. I will live. I am strong. I am the strongest and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
Realising this I channelled the energy out of my mind and back to my hand. Then with all of my strength I clenched and drew back my fist. All of the energy was trapped in my hand with overwhelming force. I was sweating because of the challenging effort, which I was making but there was no way I was going to give in now. I opened my eyes and looked up. My mum was on the floor, she looked physically drained and extremely pale.
“I told you. I am the stronger than you and I will become an Oracle.”
“You can’t do this to me. You know that you love me.” She looked up and I saw the sorrow and pain that she was feeling. “I love you, I had no choice.”
“And nor do I.” I raised my fist and she leapt forward with her hand out to try and stop me.
“NO” She cried as I turned and opened my fist towards her. The energy flew out of my hand faster than light on drugs. I was forced back onto the floor unexpectedly but managed to get up with the adrenaline rush at my aid. The ball of energy had engulfed her and all I could see was a negative silhouette of her on her knees screaming with her hands in the air. There was pulsating glowing bright light radiating off her but still in her outline shape. She cried louder. The pulses got quicker. The light got brighter. The energy got hotter. Lightning was hitting her position again and again.
Then suddenly, just as both of us had reached the climax of our conscious threshold, my whole view was obscured by hot and bright white light. The explosion whacked me clean of the ground. I had at least two seconds in the air before finally hitting the floor. I was out cold. But she was out all together.
I must have been dead. I couldn’t feel anything and the blast was definitely strong enough to kill me, let alone my mum. Oh, she’s gone. I felt an empty hole in the fabric of life. I can’t believe it, I killed someone. Then I felt bad. All I had done was kill someone, supposedly killed myself and all so I can feel empty and not get what I was promised.
I was ashamed of myself and I had ultimately failed. Ruby you failed. Ruby you have ended your dreadful life and for what? Ruby you should be ashamed. Ruby, RUBY!
I suddenly shot up and realised that I hadn’t died. I was there back at the Sycor Cell camp. I couldn’t believe it; I had been blasted and knocked out so hard that anyone would have died from it. Sycorof and Sycoral were there looking at me with a sense of joy but shock. They looked gob smacked.
“She’s alive… but how?” Sycoral exclaimed.
“I don’t know; it’s a miracle.” The leader replied eyes still fixed on me as if I had just played God. I couldn’t believe it myself and the strange thing is, I can move fine, no headaches, no pains in my body, no broken bones.
“How did I do it?” I asked quite foolishly because I they’re obviously as shocked as I was at this miracle.
“I can’t believe it. Not even the Preknowledger can bring himself back to life. You’re definitely special Ruby, far more than I had originally anticipated.”
“Tell me what happened after the blast?”
“Well we followed you secretly and we’re sorry that we didn’t tell you about your mum but it was for your own good. If you knew; you would have been demoralised and discouraged and then there would have been no hope for any of us. We’re sorry Ruby.”
“It’s ok, as long as I’ve passed the initiation.”
“Hey, you passed with flying colours!” Sycoral stated with an uplifting grin then Sycorof carried on explaining the event:
“We saw the blast but knew that we couldn’t get involved. It hurt to watch the chosen one die.”
“But obviously I didn’t die?” I interrupted.
“You did Ruby. You were dead, along with your mother. We took your body back to our camp and were about to cremate you. Look the bed is over there.” Sycoral pointed over to a massive bed of wooden poles. It felt strange inside to think that if I didn’t awake myself I definitely would have died. Even so I still probably would’ve lived.
“Well that was lucky then.” I stated.
“Damn right it was!” Sycoral added. “We had just finished and were about to do the cremation when we saw you talking in your sleep. You were saying that you had failed and that you should be ashamed of yourself. We were shocked and when we shouted your name you woke and sat up quicker than a springy flea.”
“Look: the others have gone to tell the Preknowledger about your death. They’re three hours ahead of us so there’ll be no point in trying to catch up now. We’ll give you the Syprimal Kinesis Ceremony, which will make you one of us.”
“She’s already one of us considering what she did.”
“Yes but she needs to be officially introduced.”
“Well I’m tired, you two, so I’m going to get some sleep. Wake me when you’re ready.” Sycorof kneeled down to my height and spoke:
“You’ve done well. Get some sleep while Sycoral and I prepare for the ceremony. Once that is done, we have a long journey ahead of us. I’m sorry about your previous life but let this rebirth give you a new start; a life far greater than your last.”
“I agree I’m not a Waterman any more. Thanks for everything.” I yawned and lay back down on the rug, which was beneath me. The other two acknowledged the implicit gesture and walked away. I looked up at the canopy of the shack and slowly drifted of to sleep. I was a new person and ready for anything.
“Come on Ruby; its time.” Sycoral was there in front of me holding a beautiful foreign dress and a cup of some steaming liquid. “Quickly drink this and put this on.” He handed me both the dress and drink but when I drank the steaming liquid, which was surprisingly tasty, I gave an authoritative look and said:
“Do you mind; I need to put this on?”
“Oh sorry we’re just in a rush because I was supposed to wake you up fifteen minutes ago. He’s going to be back any minute now.” He turned around and for some reason, despite him being there in front of me, I trusted him not to turn around. Maybe they were right about me being one of them; I can feel the trust between us and the respect. I quickly slipped the dress on, which seemed to be more of a Hawaiian dress with mythical assets on it.
“Come on then, let’s go.” I walked past him and he followed. It was nigh on pitch-black and there in front of me were a ring of individual fires. They were small fires but together they became a large circle big enough for at least ten people to stand in without getting burnt.
“I see you’re all ready then.” It was Sycorof who had come from the left; strolling with a fox in his hands. The fox was almost certainly dead but it had no blood on it.
“Let’s start.” Sycorof said as Sycoral started humming with his arms raised by his side. It created a weary atmosphere. The sky was clear and the stars were out looking upon us.
“Ruby move to the centre of the ring please.” The humming was still going on and then chanting started. I looked at the first to fires in front of me and thought the word “off”. The two fires lost their flame and looked useless just like a body with no heart. I then walked to the centre of the circle and thought “on” and I once again heard the two majestic roars of the flames. Sycorof spoke behind me as I was facing directly to the moon. Maybe the alignment might have had something to do with it?
“Ruby this is it, once this is done you will never be called Ruby Waterman again. You will have a new name; one far more important than yours at this current moment. One, which will permanently fuse your spirit with ours. No more pain Ruby not anymore. Now let the scripture be read.” I felt a blip of unease. I wasn’t surprised considering the last three days. He spoke again; this time in rhyme:
“This new life and path shall be carved;
One, which unites and simultaneously scars.
These ten fires represent ten things,
Ten things, which contain love but also sins.
As each one goes a new asset shall arise;
An asset, which will enlighten and open ones eyes:
One for hope to rise above the evil
Two for not fearing against becoming old and feeble
Three for defence against ones own self
Four for united effort and respectful help
Five for sacrifice to keep the loved alive
Six for controlling power, which all beings thrive
Seven for justice to be served against those who sin
Eight for love to those who embrace and join in
Nine for you; intelligence, which you don’t lack
Ten: you shall be named the Sycorax.”
That was it. All of the fires were out and it was in the middle of the night, which was freezing cold. My two companions joined me and I could feel our spirits embracing and our respect securing. Despite the cold I felt warm with a new feeling: love. We were one; I could feel all of us all over the world. I felt powerful. I felt strong. I felt loved. Because I was the Sycorax.
Please can you put your rating for this story here and next to it put why. This way i can get some useful feedback for my next story, whether it will be a sequel or a completely new story. Thanks:
- One could be somewhat impressed if it was indeed written by a 9 year old. Simply for the sheer length. But at the end of the day, literature is literature, and the concept that it's meant to evoke emotion has been missed....
The story is very well written, it has good psychological depth. There is a problem with how humans are depicted there, I guess. It is very hard to overwrite nature; it is not probable that the mother may want to kill her daughter and viceversa... unless they are other kind of people, witch and oracle, respectively. The rest is nice, you did a good job in creating an "action" story, I mean, as soon as one starts reading, one cannot abandon, the story has a hook. Good job! I rate it 7/10. I hope you will upload more stories. I don't usually like fantasy stories, but this one is a must! --David 22:43, 9 December 2008 (UTC)