CHAPTER 1: Attack of The Return Of The Aftermath after the Aftermath of the Aftermath After the Epilogue of The Last One[]
I: Wait......how the heck are we still alive? I thought your own puke ate you and we all blew up!
Me: That, my friend, is the power of the paradox!
I: Wait, what paradox?!
Me: I changed my name! NEW TITLE!!
The Incredibly Random Adventures of Porkchop and I 2!!!!!![]
I: You changed your name.......to Porkchop?
Porkchop: Yep.
I: And that somehow brought us back to life?
Porkchop: Yep.
I: Well alright. So, what would happen if I changed my name?
Porkchop: I dunno.......
I changes his name.
The Incredibly Random Adventures of Porkchop and It 2!!!!!![]
Porkchop: IT?!?! What a STUPID name!!!
It: Says you. But what about the paradox?
CHAPTER 2: The Paradox[]
It: Oh.
It and Porkchop are suddenly transported to the Planet of the ~GrAmMaR and mAtH mOnStErS~!!!!
Both: OOOOHHHHH MMMMYYYYY GGGGOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD, NOOOOOOOOO, GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD PLLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE!
Grammar Monster: That is not good grammar, little boys.
Porkchop: wadda 'bout 'dis u basturd
Grammar Monster: NO! That is terrible grammar!
Grammar Monster blows up.
Math Monster appears.
Math Monster: QUICK! What's 3+4-5+143-(-25)?
It: Uhh.......carry the........
Porkchop: Well.........can we write it out?
Math Monster: Yeah.
Porkchop: 'Kay.......uh........120?
Math Monster: Don't say it outloud! He'll here the answer! Now we have to do another one! 3+12-(-8)!
It: 20!
Math Monster: Very good! Now----hey! Get back in this chapter!
It and Porkchop leave the chapter.
CHAPTER 3: Attack........of the TALK-SHOW HOSTS!!!!!![]
It: No. Oh God, no.
Oprah's voice: Today......on Oprah......
Porkchop: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Oprah's voice: We have special guest Dr. Phil.........
Porkchop: OH GOD!!!!!!
Oprah's voice: Here to help a man who has some serious problems..........he even changed his name to Porkchop!
Porkchop: Well, good thing it ain't me-------wait, WHAT?!
THE INTERVIEW:[]
Oprah: So Mr. ........Porkchop........ why did you change your name?
Porkchop: Cuz people were accusing the author of having a split personality, you weirdo!
Dr. Phil: Did you, ever think.......
Porkchop: Did you ever think?
Dr. Phil: Look, we're trying ta help........you, solve your problems!
Porkchop: Listen, "buddy", you have way more problems then me. I'm talking....... about weight. Here to help you, is my friend Dr. Oz.
Audience claps.
Dr. Oz: Dr. Phil, please step on this scale and--------
Porkchop guns everyone down.
Porkchop: Bastards.
CHAPTER 4: Pickles and Creamed Corn........THE MUSICAL!![]
It: So how was it on Oprah?
Porkchop: I gunned em' all down.
It: Again?
Porkchop: Yeah.
Pickles and Creamed Corn fall from the sky.
Porkchop: OMG! Time to..........SING A SONG!!!
Both: Oh, pickles and creamed corn!
They're fallin' from the skyyyyyyyy!
Some razor bla-aaaaddddeeeessss
And some very sharp kni-ivesssss,
That are also fa-llllliiiinnnnggg
Just stabbed me in the eyyyeeeeeee!
This song is so randddoommm!
It's a waste of your tiiime!
So we'll end it riiiiggghhhttt now!
So you can get on with your pointlesss and boring........LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!
It: CHA!
Porkchop: Thank God that's over.
It: Yeah, that was not worth 3 five hour rehearsals.
CHAPTER 5: We promise not another freakin' song! BUUUUTTTTT...............................we do promise a MONKEY!![]
It: Well, I'm gettin' bored. What's another stupid and random thing that we could do to waste our reader's time?
Porkchop: Uhhh............OH LOOK! A MONKEY!
It: There we go!
Porkchop picks up the monkey.
Porkchop: Ohh, look at you! Look at you! Your soooooo cutttee!
The monkey rips Porkchop's face off.
Porkchop: Mi ggate frugggnn ugny
Translation: I hate this ~bleeeping~ monkey.
It: Wow....Oh.......wow.......that's disturbing.........
Porkchop: Gwigh! Emb bish abter mow!
Translation: Quick! End this chapter now!
CHAPTER 6: Return of The ~GrAmMaR mOnStEr~![]
It: Just joking.
CHAPTER 7: Possibly Another Song[]
It: OOOOOHHHHHHH...........
Both: They're could be another song in this chapteeeerrrrrr!
They're could be another song, oh yes there could!
But if there's a song in this chapter,
It'll be about the song there could beeeeeeeee!!
Porkchop: Buuuuuuuuutttttt wwwweeeeeeeee'lllllllll...................
Both: Also sing about mooses, gooses, juices,
noses, poses.......uh...............something with oses and
bruises, oozes, uh........some other lyric...........
foxes, boxes........uh joxes........is that a word?.......
And that is the end of our sooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!
Porkchop: Thank God it's doooooooooonnnnnnnnneeeeeee!!
It: Really.
CHAPTER 8: Almost to the end...........[]
It: Well folks, we're approaching the end to this story, so we'll be taking requests of stupid and dangerous crap to do. First, here's a letter from Joe, from Wisconsin:
Dear It and Porkchop (previously I and Me),
Will you please force It to swallow a hot dog and motorcycle whole? Wait, WHAT?!?!
Porkchop shoves a motorcycle and hot dog down It's thoat.
Porkchop: Next, (jeez, dude, quit gagging, that's pathetic!) we have a letter from Judy fom New Mexico:
Dear It: Will you please stand on your head and juggle chainsaws?
It: Oh, lord no........
It stands on his head.
Porkchop: Here's the chainsaws!
Porkchop throws 6 chainsaws to It.
It's hands are cut off.
Porkchop: And one last letter from........It?
Dear Porkchop,
Will you please let me beat the living crap out of you? Uh-oh........
It: Well, see ya later folks!
Porkchop: OH JEEZ, STOP, GOD, DON'T, PLEEEEEAAASSSEE!!!!
the end!!!!