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The Diary of Jessie Baker Edit

6th January 1999

It was my first day back at school today, and I was miserable all day as I couldn’t get any sleep last night. Mum and dad were arguing until about 3 a.m. When I eventually finished a long hard day at school I had to walk all the way back home to an empty home. As I opened the front door of our families dirty, run-down flat, I got a waft of the stench coming from our house. As I stepped through the piles of rubbish on the floor, I saw empty bottles of beer and an ashtray full of cigarettes, burnt to the end, I knew my dad was home. As I threw my school bag on the floor, my books and pencil case fell out, just my luck. I picked them up, and peered around the edge of the sofa. I had found dad, lying on the floor, not moving. I was scared, worried, this had never been that bad before. I ran over to his head and tried to remember what the nurse had said on the first aid course last week, maybe I should have listened to her, in stead of messing around with the Stethoscopes. I heard foot steps, coming up the stairs, thank god, it was mum. “Jessy! What have you done!” She always blames me! “It wasn’t me mum, I swear! This was how I found him!” Mum sat him up and rushed him to hospital, the doctors said he would be fine, but I was not no sure, from the amount of beer bottles he could easily have got alcohol poisoning or something!


7th January 1999

It’s okay, dad will be fine, I woke up this morning to the sound of my younger sister, Sophie, crying. I can understand that she is only 3, but I am a 14 year old teenager who needs sleep! As I walked to school, I passed a new student at our school. Phaww! I could use a boyfriend like him! I told Zoe the boy I saw, I now officially fancy him! I will ask him out tomorrow. Came home to another empty flat after school. I found Sophie on the sofa, in the house, alone! She told me that dad was at a job interview, and mum had popped out for fresh air, fresh air, how can she find fresh air next to a motorway? Her little ‘fresh air session’ has now lasted over an hour, so I have had to use our mouldy oven to cook dinner for Sophie and I. Sometimes I wonder if she really cares about us.


8th January 1999

As I write this diary entry, tears fall gently on the paper. I was miserable all day, Craig has got a girlfriend, before I could ask him. I don’t know this mystery girl is , but Craig loves her, not me. I thought the day couldn’t get worse, but how I was wrong. My parents are splitting up. Just my luck!


9th January 1999

Zoe, Craigs mystery girlfriend is Zoe. She is my best friend. How could she do this to me? She knew I liked Craig and she went behind my back she told me she couldn’t help their love, but I wouldn’t have done that to her, what gives he the right to do this to me? I still love you Craig!


10th January 1999

I watched from behind the shelter as Zoe and Craig climbed onto the bus. They were going to the nearest city, to go shopping. I jumped on the bus, “a single to town please,” I whispered. I carefully crept over to the front seat, watching Zoe at the back. Get a room Zoe! Eventually, the bus arrived in town as I ran out the bus, Zoe and Craig followed, they still hadn’t seen me. I felt really guilty spying on my best friend, but she had stole Craig from me, and I’ll never forget that. Zoe held hands with Craig as they wandered around the shops. I looked at my watch, it was 2:00 pm, they had been unseparate for four hours! At last they had stopped wondering, then skipped merrily into a café. God that was boring. I am going to take a break! I had come back to a sickening sight – Zoe and Craigs lips were touching. At first I thought they rally were in love, but suddenly, Zoe fell to the ground. I expected Craig to run over to her, but instead he suspiciously walked off. I uncovered my secretness and stopped spying, instead, I saved. I ran over to Zoe’s head, felt just the way I did when my dad collapsed. I have learnt from my mistakes, I did exactly what mum had done to dad, sat Zoe upright and called and ambulance. I thought this would be the end of life for Zoe.


11th January 1999

I went to visit Zoe in the hospital toady. The doctors have no idea what happened to Zoe, but I know who hurt her, it was…

Jessie’s diary ends here.


21st July 2819

My name is Edward Howard, head of historic developments in The National History Museum. I too knew what had happened on the day of 10th January 1999. It is newly discovered evidence so I thought I would do Jessie the honour of completing her diary, before this information goes out to the press. Craig certainly was a character. As I say it is newly discovered evidence that Craig is a super-natural murderer! Most people have heard of the kiss of life, but Craig could use his powers to do the kiss of death. He got addicted to killing beautiful young girls, each time he killed, his powers doubled. This is the mystery of Zoe’s death, but not the mystery of where Craig is now. We have traced him up until he walks off down the road. Just after he kills Zoe, but after then all traces of him simply disappear. Some believe he is still alive today, but when your tracking a super-natural, who knows where you might end up?


Given Literary merit GoldStarGoldStarGoldStarNoStarNoStarNoStarNoStar by M.W.Peacey

Could have done with a few more paragraphs, mistakes with punctuation were large in amount. Mistakes were also made in the plot, I thought It was slightly simple, but liked the twist with Zoe being the mysterious girlfriend. One more note is that the the tense was wrong at times....

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