Warning: This article may contain mature content and is intended for people at least 16 or older. The mature content is not there just for the sake of being there, it does/will have an important role to play in the completed story.

The Concrete Angel

The Concrete Angel is currently in nothing more then the beginning phase of it's existence. I have yet to turn it into a real story, but have much of the framework in place for the story to be built around. The story is in first person because I feel it works better that way. I hope you enjoy the read, and hope nothin within the story offends anyone. Please forgive the atrocious spelling and grammar, I am not good at those things.


Basic Timeline

· Early Story, age 9 to 10.

o Narrator moves to new house. Narrator is 9 years old, just entering the 3rd grade

o Narrator gets teased in school for defending one of the kids from being bullied.

o Narrator meets the bullied kid again, finds out her name is Lucy.

o Narrator and Lucy become friends, Lucy shows Narrator the Junkyard Fort, the Forgotten Dock, and the Grove.

o Narrator and Lucy become fast friends for life.

o Lucy subject to her first sexual abusing by her uncle.

o Narrator comforts her, not knowing just what she went through, and manages to talk her out of suicidal thoughts.

o Narrator finds the Concrete Angel when exploring on his own, Lucy subject to her 4th sexual abusing by her uncle.

o Narrator shows Lucy the Concrete Angel.

o Narrator find out about Lucy’s abuse at the hands of her uncle. Confronts her uncle, who threatens his life is he ever tells another soul.

· Mid Story, age 10 to 11

o Narrator starts writing his “My Concrete Angel” poem for Lucy


· Late Story, age 11 to 12

o Lucy’s uncle kills Sarutobi and Nicole (Mrs. Roberts)

o Lucy subject to particularly unpleasant sexual abusing by her uncle. Is beaten as well.

o Lucy decides to kill herself. Narrator finds out and rushes to stop her.

o Lucy kills herself, Narrator 2 feet to far to stop her. Ends up covered in blood from the gunshot. Tries to kill himself with the gun, but it had only 1 bullet.

o Narrator found by Gerome, who calls the police. Narrator doesn’t tell Lucy’s secret, to scared of Lucy’s uncle.

o One week passes, during which the Narrator is bullied even more by Dan and his cronies. “Ha, you must have been a shitty friend for Lucy to kill herself.”-Dan

o Mr. Roberts find Narrator trying to hang himself. Convinces him not to, and tells him that Lucy wouldn’t have wanted it. Gerome helps him do this.

o Narrator gets a large steak knife from his house and heads over to Lucy’s uncle’s house, hiding the knife.

o Confronts Lucy’s uncle, they get into a fight.

o Gerome breaks in to house, tries to convince Narrator that killing Lucy’s uncle won’t be satisfying.

o Narrator kills Lucy’s uncle.

o Police again involved. Story revealed, Narrator let off with a warning.

o Narrator goes to therapy for several days. Talks with Gerome and Mr. Roberts and a number of other people, including the bullies who helped lead to this.

· End of Story, age 12

o During therapy, Narrator writes this story, and includes all his talks with the various people who spoke with him during therapy.

· My Concrete Angel

o You are my angel, my Concrete Angel.

o You stand strong, in the face of all that is wrong

o You are my only, my one and only

o You are my Concrete Angel, you stand tall

o Though thick and thin, though wind and rain

o You are my Concrete Angel, my only

o Concrete Angel…

Character List

· Main Characters

o Narrator (Travis Palmer)- Narrator of the story, it is his story that’s being told.

§ Befriends Lucy in the beginning of the story, making himself a target for bullies.

§ Has somewhat neglecting parents.

§ Father likes to use guns on the firing range.

§ Tries to stop Lucy from killer herself, but fails to do so because he is 2 inches to far.

§ Tries to kill himself after Lucy dies, but is convinced not to by Mr. Roberts and Gerome.

§ Kills John Malorn (Lucy’s evil uncle) near the end of the story.

o Lucy Malorn- Narrators only friend.

§ Orphaned in a house fire when she was 3, she has been abused by her uncle ever since then, more recently in sexual ways.

§ Befriended by Narrator when he defends her from some bullies, marking himself as an outcast.

§ Kills herself near the end of the story using a gun she steals from Narrators father.

§ Easily depressed, quiet, cries a lot, vulnerable to bullying, not confident, has a number of other issues.

o Mr. Roberts- The Math teacher from school, 1st ,2nd grade.

§ Finds Narrator after Lucy kills herself and stops him from doing the same.

§ Is a friend to the Narrator and Lucy, defends them from the bullies.

§ Lives with his wife, Nicole, who is killed by Lucy’s uncle near the end of the book when she shows up at Sarutobi’s house to talk with him.

o John Malorn- Lucy’s evil uncle.

§ Abuses Lucy in various ways (Sexually, Physically, Emotionally, ext…), seems like a good person from the outside, model citizen

§ Is a monster, kills Sarutobi and Nicole (Mrs. Roberts) when they find out about his abusing Lucy.

o Old Man Gerome- An old man who owns the junkyard.

§ Allows Narrator and Lucy to stay in their junkyard fort, defends them from the bullies

§ Lives alone, friend of Sarutobi.

§ Has 6 dogs who guard his junkyard.

§ Finds Narrator after Lucy kills herself, helps Mr. Roberts convince him not to do the same.

o Sarutobi- The owner of the Graveyard

§ Allows Narrator and Lucy to stay in graveyard, defends them against the bullies.

§ Lives alone, is a friend of Gerome

§ Has 3 dogs and walks with a limp.

§ Is killed by the uncle at the end of the story because he finds out about the uncle’s treatment of Lucy.

· Secondary Characters

o Abigail Johnson- Bullies Lucy,

o Dan Monestaro- Bullies Narrator,

o Sally Younger- Bullies Lucy,

o Patricia Orin- Bullies Lucy,

o Jack Brown- Bullies Narrator,

o Verin Black- Bullies Narrator,

o Mrs. Gunther- Art Teacher,

o Mrs. Burn- Principle,

o Mr. Falco- Science Teacher,

o Ms. Haruno- English Teacher,

o Narrators Parents-

· Minor Characters

o Parents of other students

o Random students in hallways

o Random people on the streets

o Sarutobi’s Dogs

o Gerome’s Dogs


· School

o English Class-

o Recess-

o Math Class-

o History/Social Studies-

o Science-

o Lunch/Cafeteria-

o Hallways (A, B, C, D, E, F, G)-

o Arts and Crafts-

o Behind the School-

o Playground-

· Neighborhood

o The Ally- An old ally near Lucy’s house. Narrator and Lucy are chased into it after Jack’s trailer home burns down, having been blamed for it by the bullies. They are attacked and hurt there, and later flee to the Abandoned Dock, until they are discovered, at which point they flee to the Tomb.

o The Road to School- Basically, the road from the Narrators house to school, which passes Dan’s house, Verin’s house, and Lucy’s house.

o Allen Ave- The junkyard is at the end of this ave.

o Pulaski Drive- The Graveyard is found on this drive.

o Feri Road- Abigail, Sally, and Patricia’s Houses are found on this road.

o The Park- A park on the edge of town, near the forest. A site of bullying for the Narrator and Lucy.

o The Skate Park- A skate part in the center of town, a site of bullying for the Narrator and Lucy.

o The Forest- Home of the Grove, Concrete Angel, and Forgotten Dock. The Grove and Forgotten Dock are found by the bullies, but the Concrete Angel remains hidden.

o The Riverside- From the “Under the Bridge” location, past the forest, and down to the Docks. Site of bullying for Narrator and Lucy.

o The Docks- A large set of docks for rowing boats, speed boats, and other recreational river-related stuff. Site of bullying for Narrator and Lucy, who get pushed off it twice and nearly down both times.

o Under the Bridge- A large cement and dirt opening underneath a highway, loud and filled with trash and beer bottles, where the Bullies often smoke or drink. A site of bullying for Narrator and Lucy, marks the uppermost point of the Bullies range.

o The Graveyard- Home of the Tomb, and a place of refuge for the Narrator and Lucy. Owned by Sarutobi, who dies.

· Secret Places

o The Grove- A large grove of trees in the center of the forest. These trees are a shelter for the Narrator and Lucy. Found by the bullies after Jack’s trailer burns.

o The Forgotten Dock- An old abandoned dock that no one goes to or uses anymore. A shelter for the Narrator and Lucy until it is discovered and ruined by their bullies.

o The Tomb- An old tomb or catacomb that isn’t completely sealed away. Shelter for Narrator and Lucy, found out by Sarutobi (who owns the graveyard). He lets them stay, so long as they don’t damage any of the bodies.

o The Concrete Angel- In a small alcove created by a dip in the hills of the forest, there is a concrete angle. Surrounded by apple, pear, and even a few peach trees, it is a wonderful place for the Narrator and Lucy to go when they need to be alone. The Concrete Angel itself is human sized, and on a 2ft tall stone pedestal. The name is covered with mosses and flowers from many years of not being looked at, but the statue itself is untouched by time, except for a slow growth of ivy near the base, and some moss, also near the base. It is in the sheltering wings of the Concrete Angle that the Narrator first finds out about Lucy’s unfortunate past, as well as about her current situation. It is in the shadow of the Concrete angle that the Narrator writes his poem for Lucy.

o The Junkyard Fort- In the junkyard, sheltered from the outside world by large piles of junk and several old cars, is a small hut made of rusting sheet metal. It is in this hut that the Narrator and Lucy first have their serious, deep friendship talk. It is here that the Narrator finds out about Lucy’s parents and sister, who died in a fire, and here where Lucy kills herself.

· Houses

o Narrators house- A 3 bedroom row house, one for the Narrator, one for his parents, and then a spare for any other children that may be born.

o Lucy’s House- A 2 bedroom row house, the neighbors don’t care about what they hear in it. This house isn’t in the best place to live, similar to a “hood” type neighborhood. It is here that the Narrator first meets Lucy’s uncle and starts to think that something’s up, and here that the Narrator kills Lucy’s uncle.

o Dan’s House- A 4 bedroom house 3 doors down from Lucy’s house, it is here that Mr. Roberts takes the Narrator after he kills Lucy’s uncle.

o Verin’s House- A 3 bedroom house 9 doors up from Lucy’s house, the Narrator chases Verin to the house and gets yelled at by Verin’s parents, who think Verin is a model child.

o Jack’s House- A trailer home, it is here that the Narrator and Lucy are cornered and attacked by Jack, Verin, Abigail and Patricia. It later burns to the ground, for which the Narrator and Lucy are blamed and then bullied and attacked by the lot of their bullies.

o Abigail, Sally, and Patricia’s Houses- All in the same wealthy neighborhood, this is where the Narrator and Lucy flee from before finding the Concrete Angel.

Story So FarEdit

The Concrete Angel

It started out like any other first day at a new school, with me scared shitless at all the ways it could go wrong. As usual, Mom was no where to be found, and Dad was always at work, so I made my own lunch, got to the bus stop on my own time, and made it to school without seeing my parents at all. Just a normal morning for me, except for the new surroundings.

You see, I have just moved to town from my old house in eastern PA to this new one in South Carolina, of all places. A little town called Sarit’s Crossing. Population of 3 thousand or so, nothing major. From the suburbs of Philly to a tiny town in the middle of no where. I definitely didn’t think I would fit in, but I made sure I could get to school on time. We lived 3 blocks away, so it wasn’t that hard to get there.

In any case, I was 9 years old and well on my way to being an adult, and I figured that this couldn’t be more dangerous then where I’d come from, so I walked to school, as usual. On the way, I bumped into some of the kids who would be at my new school. Dan, who seemed like a good guy; Abigail, a cute girl my age who seemed to be a bit of a drama queen; and Jack, who looked to be a real piece of work. He was smoking when we first met. There was one other kid, a girl. She came up in front of us, and then sped up as though frightened of the kids walking with me.

I asked who that was, and Abigail said “No one you need to know.” Which, of course, perked my interest. We arrived at school, and there I found out what my classes would be and where, and then I went to homeroom. Mrs. Kraft was an okay teacher, she just took role and left us to ourselves. The strange girl was in this class too, I noticed. She was all alone, with no one sitting near her, and she looked thoroughly scared of the class. I was, naturally, concerned, but before I could do anything, the bell rang and it was time for first class.

I had math, with Mr. Roberts. He was a nice fella, funny and always in good spirits. First impression: I liked him. All in all, by lunch, I had found that I liked most of my teachers, except for Mrs. Haruno, she seemed mean to me. At lunch I found that strange girl, and sat next to her. She seemed startled that anyone would sit near her, and didn’t offer her name or anything. Abigail and Dan came over, and decided it would be fun to flex their muscles in front of the new kid.

Dan literally sneered at her. Like, literally, stupid face and all. That seemed to frighten the crap outta her, she started to get up to move elsewhere, but then Abigail came over and dumped her milk all over the poor girls shirt. It was then that I got up and moved in between her and the two bullies. “Leave her alone, she’s done nothing to you.” I said. They both looked at me as though surprised that I would stand up for the girl, and the girl looked just as surprised. Then I saw anger, annoyance, and distaste flash over Dan and Abigail’s faces all at once. Dan moved to hit me, but I had grown up in the hood, I knew how to fight.

I caught Dan’s fist in mid-punch, and then twisted his arm back and knocked him to the ground. By now, everyone nearby had fallen silent, seeing the confrontation. Dan got up, looked at me as though he wanted to rip my face off, and then said “This isn’t the end, you got that? I’ll pay you back for this. That’s a promise.” I replied evenly “Next time I won’t let you get away so easily, got it?” Dan looked completely enraged, but managed to control himself and say “Hmph. Next time I’ll kick ur ass and break you arm, got it?” He then turned away. I moved to face Abigail, but she was obviously not a fighter, she simply glared at me and went back to her table.

I turned then to the girl. She looked terrified I was going to hurt her or something, but at the same time a little hopeful. “So, what’s your name?” “L-Lucy.” “That’s a nice name. Mine’s Travis. So, why were they bugging you?” “I’m the school target, they all bully me. And I can’t do anything to stop them, even the teachers don’t help me.” “Well, I’ll help you.” I promised. She looked at me for a moment, then asked “Why?” I didn’t even think about it “You have as much a right to be happy as they do. I don’t like people who find pleasure in causing others pain.” Lucy smiled, and I got her some paper towels to soak up as much of the milk as possible, and offered her my jacket to cover up the stain. She accepted gratefully, and we both knew then that we would be friends.

The rest of the school day went by without incident, until recess after Art. Then Dan and his friends Jack and Verin came to make true his promise to break my arm. I was with Lucy, telling her about myself, when they showed up. They came over to the bench, which was up against the school building in a sort of dead end ally type shape, and blocked the only exit. I looked up, annoyed, and asked “Can you come back later, I’m busy right now.”

That pissed them off. The two in the back glared at me, and Dan said “Well, squirt, you can beat me. I outnumber you this time.” “Well, it looks like you can count after all! Congratulations. Now go away, before you get hurt.” Of course, that didn’t make it any better, not one bit. Dan attacked me angrily, which made it easy to beat him. All I did was dodge the frontal attack and kick him from the side. He smashed into the solid stone wall of the school building, whacking his head and causing it to bleed. Then the other two attacked, and I was dodging fists. Verin’s fist caught me on the jaw, and I went flying into the building just like Dan had, but not as hard. I got back up, and turned to face them again.

They cheated. Jack had Lucy in his arms, with one arm around her throat, the other covering her mouth and nose. That really pissed me off, and I hurled myself right at him. Needless to say, it failed, Verin attacked from the side and I once again hit the school building. None of the teachers had noticed this yet, and Dan was waking up. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I kicked Verin right in between the legs, and he dropped like a rock. Jack yelled out, and I saw that Lucy had bitten him. In his momentary distraction, I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Lucy, then punched him square in the face.

At the same moment, a teacher, alerted to the commotion by Jack’s loud yelp when Lucy bit him, came running over yelling loudly. It took me a moment to realize she was yelling at me. After a full 2 minutes trying in vain to explain what had happened, she sent Lucy and myself to the principles office, for fighting. Dan, Jack, and Verin were sent to the nurses station to get looked at.

Mrs. Burn was not a happy person. She saw us come in and immediately set about lecturing us on why fighting is bad. Didn’t ask if we started it, didn’t ask anything, just lecturing. I then made the stupid mistake of pointing out to her that Dan had started it. She took that badly, said I was talking back to teachers and that wasn’t allowed. Of course, I was still in a “fight and win” mode, so I then tried, rather rudely, to get her to understand that it wasn’t my fault and that Dan should be the one in trouble not me. She was not happy about that, and then sent me home early, with a 3 day suspension. And that was how my first day of school came to an end.

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