The First Human Spaceship hasn’t yet arrived on PorrilaEdit
This further translation is again the work of "Peter Bliggs", this time assisted by Centaurians “Green Tentacles the 2nd” and “Yellow Eyespots the 23rd”. It was released into the Public and Alien Domain as before.
Wikipedia Wikia Fiction has reproduced the text in full. Those who disagree with the decision are appealing to Jumbo Whales, the great great great grandson of Jimbo Whales and brother of Mumbo Bimbo Whales.“
The text againEdit
Long and hard the Centaurian scientists worked to discover and evaluate data on the new planet and the incredible beings that lived there. They found a planet with many pleasant places where there were cool plants and cool animals. And they even found quite a bit of mud at river deltas and other places. But they just couldn’t understand the dominant species on the planet. The dominant species kept doing uncool things like pouring carbon dioxide into the planet’s atmosphere. Now carbon dioxide warmed the planet up so those cool green places and the mud could become sad, lifeless deserts. And the dominant species kept pouring pollutants into streams, rivers, lakes and oceans so those streams, rivers, lakes and oceans and muddy places became bad places and gave off horrible smells and life there died. And the Terrans did silly things like draining swamps and muddy places. That was totally incomprehensible. The inhabitants of Porrila just had no idea why any intelligent being refused to enjoy the wonderful mud on it’s planet. And the Centaurians had such compassion for the unfortunate planet Earth and its people.
The Centaurians decided to contact the Terrans. Perhaps they hoped they could persuade the Terrans to be more reasonable. Now Proxima Centauri is just over 4 light years away from Earth. That means that waiting for replies took over eight years. After many decades the Terrans and the Centaurians developed a communications method that worked most of the time. Then the Centaurians and the Terrans wanted to meet
face to face face to tentacles. How could they get together? It’s just no good saying, “You just catch the 28 bus away from the City Centre and get off at the crossroads after the railway bridge” when your cool friend is that bit over 4 light years away.
The Terrans and the Centaurians tried to pool information about building starships. The Terrans said,
“We’re thinking of scooping up hydrogen atoms from interstellar space and using them to fuel a starship engine. Then for 8 years the Terrans worried. “What will the Centaurians think of the message? We know they're very hierarchical. Will our alien friends think scooping up hydrogen atoms is reasonable? We hope they’re our friends. Then the time came when the Terrans expected the Centaurian reply. A call sign came showing the reply was imminent. Papers put the front page on hold. News websites prepared for the historic reply. Then the reply came.
“We don’t understand you. What’s a scoop? What’s an engine?”
The Terrans were a bit impatient. They had a different idea for a starship engine as well and they didn’t want to wait decades till the Centaurians understood them. The best scientists and linguists set about explaining what beamed propulsion means. Then the Terrans sent a message,
“We’re also thinking of sending out a beam of laser light or charged particles. We’ll fit a lightweight sail onto the starship to catch the photons of light or the charged particles. Our best scientists think that might work. The starship wouldn’t need to carry fuel so it would be much lighter and better. Which do you think is the better idea? Should we work on the Bussard Ramjet or the Beamed Propulsion? Please tell us, wonderful alien friends. Which of the two do you think is cooler?”
More than eight years passed, the first reply came.
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