The things that crawled out of the slime on the planet PorrilaEdit
The following is an account of conditions in the Centaurian system shortly before First Contact. Translation was collaboration between Centaurian “Purple Tentacles the 5th” and Terran, "Peter Bliggs". It was released into the Public and Alien Domain without copyright restrictions by the authors. After numerous Wiki Conferences and Wiki Edit Wars and Wiki Disagreements and Wiki Conflict Resolution Procedures
Wikipedia Wikia Fiction decided to reproduce the text in full without alterations.
A messenger approached lowering all his tentacles respectfully.
“A delegation of astronomers wishes to speak with you at the palace Oh Most Eminent One.”
The great ruler Morowl extended one of his forward tentacles. He scooped up a huge wodge of mud and splattered it over the front part of his body.
“Tell the astronomers to speak to me here.” he replied.
The messenger lowered himself respectfully and struggled to avoid getting the mud further than his lowest parts. Centaurians do not have anything like human skeletons so keeping himself raised out of the mud needed hard work. The awkward posture that he needed also required hard work but raising himself too far would prevent proper humility.
“Your eminence wishes the astronomers to meet you here in the most sacred and exclusive kingly mudbath?”
An unusually heavy gust of wind nearly blew the messenger
off his feet off his tentacles and right into the mud. This required the unfortunate servant to strain his muscles as he struggled to maintain the proper posture, the servant stifled a scream of pain. Still the mud was royal sludge and he was not worthy to touch it.
The great ruler Morowl extended one of his rearward tentacles. He scooped up another huge wodge of mud and splattered it over the back part of his body.
“Yes. I can’t be bothered to go back to the palace” he said.
A humble minion ushered the Head Royal Astronomer into the presence of the great ruler. Carefully the astronomer kept his robe out of the mud. Morowl was pleased that he’d stuck with the traditional design of the robes. The deep purple of the robe looked truly impressive, the silver pattern of planets, stars and galaxies superimposed was a real work of art. And when light of the red sun Proxima Centauri shone onto them the designs contrasted exquisitely with the background.
Morowl gestured and the minion indicated urgently that the astronomer must bow lower. The astronomer approached Morowl bowing low and striving with as much dignity as he could to keep his robe out of the mud. Morowl struck out two of his tentacles and spoke.
“Come on my good
man alien. I’m really pleased with you. Come share the royal mud with me.” Morowl grabbed the astronomer and pulled him towards the mud.
Instinctively the astronomer resisted. "Unworthy" he mumbled.
Morowl pulled the astronomer till he was firmly planted in the mud and the part of his robe nearer to Morowl was covered with it.
“Now” Morowl asked, “tell me about this new planet you have discovered.” The astronomer shifted about uncomfortably.
“Is it your wish that I go back and change my robes?”
“No, not at all!” Morowl insisted, “Didn’t you hear me? Tell me about this planet you discovered, I’ve read the early report. You say you have definitely found nitrogen, oxygen and water vapour in the atmosphere of the new planet.”
“Yes, indeed we have and we think there may be life there, my lord.”
Morowl gestured and a minion scurried off to get the reports from the other astronomers. The astronomer started to explain, carefully keeping the clean part of his robe out of the mud. Morowl struck out three tentacles and pulled him firmly. The astronomer protested,
“My lord, I am unworthy”. Morowl paid no attention and pulled. Soon the astronomer was deep in the mud, right up to whatever the alien had instead of a neck, the astronomer took up an uncomfortable posture as he worked to keep all his eye stalks and his breathing apparatus out of the mud.
Reports were brought. The astronomer explained about the new planet, just over 4 light-years away. He explained the type of sun that planet orbited, he explained about other planets in that planetary system but mainly he explained why he thought there might be life there. The mud sank steadily deeper into his robes till finally Morowl dismissed him. A minion escorted him away.
“I know I will never wear those robes again.”, the astronomer said.
“You are indeed fortunate.” The minion ventured.
The astronomer turned to him proudly. “No one will ever wear these robes again, the robes will be carefully preserved. Later I will show my children and my grandchildren that I was permitted to share the royal mud.”
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