Please review my work. --Catherine 00:05, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
I'm a citizen of the UK and the European Union and I personally don't like the idea of these two losing the democratic freedom that we have now. Such drastic changes so close to the present are unlikely. The story gets more interesting towards the end. Have you thought of writing a story with a few characters who do interesting things? Proxima Centauri 20:15, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
“The freedom? In my story, that freedom will be sacrficed. And also, the capital will be moved from London later on. The European Union will be a memory in the eyes of Europeans.” that’s good poetic imagery.
Frankly as a European I prefer to read fiction that gives me and my fellow Europeans a better future. By the way London is the capital of the UK only, the administration of the European Union is spread about the European mainland, in Strasbourg, Brussels, Vienna etc. Proxima Centauri 03:29, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
Others[]
Others are welcome to comment on this and hopefully, read what I got. --Catherine 23:48, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
Well, first, let me tell you, having played that game (hey, it's online, free, and short), that videogame fanfictioners never cease to amaze me. Just the fact that you managed to craft a internally consistent tale from that proves to me the amazing power of the human brain. The style of the History Book, as demonstrated here, is a valid way to build a tale. In fact, many of the characteristics of the History Book are equal to those of most novels. There's a third person narrator, there's a narrative, and there's characters. The fact that they are countries rather than people shouldn't pose much problem.
As for this particular work, well, lemme see...first, a few typing mistakes there. Nothing wrong with that. Those arnt uncmm0on, bwlieve you me. To remedy that, however, I use the orthographical corrector of firefox. I'm not sure if IE has it, but try it, it really helps (with some practice you'll barely need it). A little military fiction piece. Actually, I found quite interesting the way you managed to actually craft an actual narrative out of the very very very very very very very limited options afforded to you by that little game. The plot was quite lively with all that land changing hands, though at the same time fairly dry, due to the History Book approach. The little character-driven sections between the invasions add a bit of personality that I find very nice to the otherwise sameish wars of conquest; and the section on the governments, while it probably would serve the text better integrated along with the other one, serves a similar purpose.
In the end, while it was enjoyable, I wouldn't like reading many stories with the same structure. Eventually, all the random invasions get repetitive, and tend to not be much different one from the other. If they were planned out before with the goal of writing, rather than winning the game, they might have been more memorable. The section on the governments, while much better in my opinion, thanks to less repetition, should probably be integrated into the main body of the text. Also, you may use the Novelas:Reviews for stories that you really want reviewed, rather than talking about it in the talk page. If everything goes according to the plan, I, for one, will be following it. --Nonimportant 00:44, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
Well, I suppose you only want me to comment on the recent edits. In this case, good job giving those nations character in the descriptions. Not only does the variety keep things interesting, it helps in the imagination. Now, instead of faceless soldiers with different coloured uniforms, I'm able to picture many more details while reading. Nice Pyrrhic victory too, for Bluegaria. This trope isn't used quite as much as it should. Not only that, but the new sections make the best use of the character-driven section to make the war of conquest of Africa a thrilling affair. After this, you drive the point home well that it is defeat after defeat to Bluegaria, and they are in a desperate situation.
Also, it makes me immensely happy that you are not averse to edit the parts that you already wrote. This is the great thing about writing in a wiki. It's easy to change stuff already committed to paper kylobytes. Lord knows that I don't use that as much as I probably could. --Nonimportant 16:15, September 12, 2010 (UTC)
Hex Empires[]
Hello, I'm creator of the game Hex Empire. I'm amazed that my game has inspired such a great story of yours. I don't know if you're aware but I'm working on new incarnation of the game, you can check it out here: https://uunxx.itch.io/hex-empires . Also I would be glad if you send me a PM on https://www.facebook.com/hexempires .
Uunxx (talk) 17:25, August 15, 2017 (UTC)