Talk:For better or worse
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Ah, now this is good. It has rhyme, but it also has real content. The definition of revolutions, why they happen and the absurdity of it all is quite accurate (The metaphors and analogies actually help the description, instead of making it harder to understand). And I, being a cynic, agree completely with it. The rhyme is rather disorganized, and some are a little forced ("Sure, rule and drool", for example) so if I was looking for poetry just for the rhyme organization, I'd look elsewhere. Overally, pretty good poetry. --Nonimportant 02:48, 4 May 2007 (UTC)
The itals seem pointless,but the rest is fine.I like that it doesn't go off in crazyness in which I can nvr really understand what its going on ofUser:Serprex 02:58, 4 May 2007 (UTC)
Um?!? Sure is supposed to rhyme with nature, not with rule. Doh! Besides, this poem still hasn't got any ratings. Why don't you two? 16:01, 22 October 2007 (UTC)
Isn't nature, sure, rule and drool a string of four rhymes? --Nonimportant 16:27, 22 October 2007 (UTC)
Nope. Nature and Sure go together, Rule and Drool go together. BTW, you still need to improve your English. 00:08, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
I'd have thought from the stuff at the top of this page that you'd have given it 8-9, so I was quite surprised you'd only given it a 7. I'm VERY excited about my work. How can you not be excited about it? It's so freaking COOL!!! I mean, it rhymes, it makes total sense, it's metaphysical/symbolic at times, it's not awkward...! I'm VERY excited about my work. I'm SOOO Excited!!! It's... almost perfect! Come on! I could take this poem and write a 3-page AP English Language essay on it! 00:15, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
Some rhymes are a bit awkward, there is little figurative language and there are no strophes, since I'm rating for literary merit and not for how much I liked it, I can't give it more than a seven. Oh, and...nice to see you're...excited. --Nonimportant 00:25, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
1) Which ones?
2) Nice to know you know about strophes. If you mean stanzas, I don't have any in this particular poem because it all flows together. If you mean melody, I've read this out loud over a dozen times, no problem. If you mean something else...
3) Maybe you should rate some work on this site a 1 and another a 10, that way we'd know exactly what you consider at the two extremes of the rating sequence. And I'll see if that 10 has a strophe. My 10 for a poem, Chess game, didn't.
4) With 1 for humor novelty, are you indicating that there's absolutely nothing new/close-to-unique about my poem?
5) I spot 13 examples of figurative language in my work.
00:48, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
What's wrong with stanzas?And also,tis hilarious how much Yunz is reacting when he has angered many others with 2 or 3s when they probably thought they deserved at least a 7(Like the consistent slur poem of a story in which Yunz was too lazy to find the simple change in the text.Read by content,read by content).Really Yunz,humility++ pleaseUser:Serprex 14:36, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
Okay, for instance: "The time is free, and will pass by degrees,/ But not forever; just ask the self-same trees.", sure, it's melodic, but still awkward. The few figures are are mostly repetition of the same thing phrased in different ways (like the cold climate/ warm breeze, joy/woe, high/low antithesis). Still, there are some good metaphors like "A revolt is just a stream with a cog". Apparently yes, I got a bit messed up with the strophes and stanzas over there ("estrofe" is the term used in Portuguese for "stanza" and your crazy language loves to fool me with alike-sounding words). Yes, it is melodious, but no, I noticed absolutely no novelty/humour here, care to elucidate? Also, since you care so much about it and even though it does tire my eyes, I'll be lenient on your lack of stanzas. --Nonimportant 16:34, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
1) I agree.
2) Those seem very different figures to me...
3) Oh, I was intending novelty to be different from others', but specifically, not just "this is ALSO a poem about revolution" but rather "this poem depicts something in some way or through some metaphor different from what others usually do".
4) If you can find good points to split the poem into stanzas, please do. Just keep in mind that it's not a standalone but fits inside a longer dramatic script, and many of Shakespeare's lines for Romeo and Juliet, etc. don't utilize stanzas. It's not supposed to have a sing-song quality.
17:02, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
I told you I'm being lenient on stanzas, so dun worry. And quite a few people represent revolution like that (WATCH "Land of Blind". NOW!)...though I do suppose it's a bit uncliché, alright, you get three. But enough with Shakespeare's unnaturally poetic way of speech, I can't suspend my disbelief if the actors are sputtering archaisms and sexual innuendo all the time (not that I would ever watch one of his plays)! And even though he does write some interesting plots like antagonist-less "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (I read the screenplay), and some interesting characters, most of his stuff is way too unnatural and some are almost ridiculous, like Romeo and Juliet...
Hey, I just had this great idea! Once I'm finished with Demo, my one and only purpose in life will be writing a parody of Romeo and Juliet! Let me see, it will happen in the U.S. (like that crazy Hollywood movie) in... *looks at wikipedia* Verona, a town in Missouri (unoriginal Americans. You have, like, 15 Veronas! Make up your own name next time), which is a republican state, which is good because the Montecchios will be radical leftists and the Capulets will be radical rightists! And they'll break the fourth wall all the time! HAHAHAHAH! --Nonimportant 22:15, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
Now now,you can't dare break the fifth?User:Serprex 22:22, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
I would need a steamroller for that and I don't think a steamroller would fit a stage. --Nonimportant 22:55, 23 October 2007 (UTC)
Next time you write something like that, Serprex, you should first check to see what "fourth wall" means. 00:06, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
I know exactly what it means,and it is the people like you that held geometry away from negative space and hypercubism for so many yearsUser:Serprex 01:27, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
More random gibberish. Serprex. What the heck does negative space and hypercubism doing in this context? Seriously, you need to speak in more plain English and not use fancy words in incorrect meanings. Also, if you knew what fourth wall meant, you wouldn't have asked about a fifth. 03:14, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
Negative space is when you substitute the lengths of a thing like a square with a negative number,the sizes still match the pattern of growth. And hypercubism is the way of hypercubes,which any logical geometer would of told a 4D thinker"If you knew what a cube was,you wouldn't think about the fourth dimension"Expand the ideas,and find what more can be added to the ways of wallismUser:Serprex 12:40, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
Given Literary insight 
, Humor novelty 
by User:Nonimportant
- This is a nice poem, but since there are almost no figures of language, and the rhymes are a bit crazy, under a traditionalist perspective, I can't give it more than seven....
hey awsome poem, keep up the good work 00:04, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
Thank you very much! 01:35, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
