Talk:Fire will burn
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Sorry, but we all have our own preferences and what we consider "poetry". Better luck next time! --Shaolu 08:45, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
Yeah. I thought this was pretty terrible.
"Fire will burn, day by day,
If it has anything to play."
What? Does that even make any sense at all? Is the fire talented at musical instruments, which keep it burning?
"Know that flame is not lame,"
That's just silly.
"Know that flame is not lame,
Ere your spirit catches flame."
You can't rhyme "flame" with "flame", buddy. --Ryx 08:50, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
I think I can see this whole poem somehow rhyming with "lame" actually... ;-) --Shaolu 08:54, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
Well, he has a point with the "fire will play" part, but there are better ways of saying it. And the rhyming with lame comment was just pointless. --Nonimportant 16:14, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
True, sometimes others think that my rhyming is forced, which, I'll admit, is quite true some of the time. Well, since Shaolu has rated the work down, I won't dispute it, but it seems suspicious he/she has no reason for it, no?
Ryx is being stupid on 2 counts:
- I'm not rhyming flame with flame, I'm rhyming flame with lame, and the first flame is in assonance with lame, not rhyme.
- Fire only plays in the sense of burning. Musical instruments? Lol.
Sorry, but we all have our own preferences and what we consider "poetry". Better luck next time! --Shaolu 08:45, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
Yeah. I thought this was pretty terrible.
"Fire will burn, day by day,
If it has anything to play."
What? Does that even make any sense at all? Is the fire talented at musical instruments, which keep it burning?
"Know that flame is not lame,"
That's just silly.
"Know that flame is not lame,
Ere your spirit catches flame."
You can't rhyme "flame" with "flame", buddy. --Ryx 08:50, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
I think I can see this whole poem somehow rhyming with "lame" actually... ;-) --Shaolu 08:54, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
Well, he has a point with the "fire will play" part, but there are better ways of saying it. And the rhyming with lame comment was just pointless. --Nonimportant 16:14, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
True, sometimes others think that my rhyming is forced, which, I'll admit, is quite true some of the time. Well, since Shaolu has rated the work down, I won't dispute it, but it seems suspicious he/she has no reason for it, no?
Ryx is being stupid on 2 counts:
- I'm not rhyming flame with flame, I'm rhyming flame with lame, and the first flame is in assonance with lame, not rhyme.
- Fire only plays in the sense of burning. Musical instruments? Lol.
Meanwhile, does anyone want to give this poem a different rating?
21:50, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
I'd rather not (Mainly because it wouldn't be that higher, you started well with "You may fight all you please,/ As long as you have firepower." but you lost me from them on.(Not that I'd be able to do it any better, mind you). Like I said somewhere else, rhyme is overrated, I'd take a meaningful poem over a well-rhymed poem any day.) Now, for constructive criticism:
- Try to focus less on the rhyme and more on the "message" of the poem. I don't mean that it shouldn't rhyme, but that the focus of the poem shouldn't be it (Of course that's only my opinion) --Nonimportant 00:49, 4 May 2007 (UTC)
Oops, I just realized the significance of context. The poem is supposedly something said by a person who had been once killed by a wildfire and had returned from the dead to warn adventurers of fire's strengths and weaknesses before their conflict against some infernals. The message is actually not all that difficult: he's saying that one can't defeat fire all that easily as long as fire has something to burn, and that until he had been killed by fire, he too had thought that he could prevail through brute strength (in this context, using a silver sword which can cut down fires much like a sword can cut down a tree). --01:08, 4 May 2007 (UTC)
Given Literary merit 
by User:Shaolu
- No comment. This was originally a 2/5....
