It's the year 3000, and all of the Earth's natural resources have been depleted. But one scientist has a radical solution: to abandon the Earth in search for a new salvation!
Doctor Pedro Jeremiah Tsion Xi Ngambi Karlnovitch, of the United Council of Earth, addressed his fellow members of the Board for Solution of Environmental Crisis:
"Representatives of our United Nations of Earth! I have come up with a radical solution to the crisis! We shall abandon this spent husk of a world, in search of a new salvation!"
The audience was flabbergasted. This man was seriously suggesting they leave the ancestral home of humanity, Earth, into an insane adventure to outer space, colonizing other Worlds? The proposition on mass recycling and biking to work was much more palatable. One of the braver in their number voiced that opinion. The answer was quick and definitive, like the hammer of a judicarium.
"YOU FOOLS! What riches can there be found in outer space, that weren't already found on Earth? How will we convince trillions of people to brave the millennia-long sublightspeed voyage to the most distant colonizable Systems? My plan is much more audacious, and much quicker.
"Representatives of our United Nations of Earth, I am at the last stages of building a machine that shall launch our race into a completely different universe! The travel should take no more than a few hours, since we'll not actually be moving as far as our space-time continuum is concerned. We'll just go to another one! Space-time continuum, that is."
The other scientists in the council nodded. Of course interuniversal travel wouldn't take a long time like space travel, that was just basic. The non-scientists nodded because they presumed the scientists knew what they were talking about.
And thus, trillions of people volunteered to build the gigantic Inter Universal Transporter according to schematics provided by Pedro. They worked for three months, nonstop, recycling old machines to build this new salvation.
Once the work was finished, Pedro, his wife, his children, and a bunch of his closest friends stood on a podium, to deliver a speech as every person in the world anxiously waited to enter the Transporter.
"People of our United Nations of Earth! Our salvation is at hand! At the other side of this glorious machine lies a virgin universe for our species to explore as we see fit! Maybe even with less killing this time around! But I don't make any promises. Y'see, for millions of years our species has endured through murder, and I don't see anything wrong if, given desperate circumstances, we took up a little murderin' ourselves. I mean, who could blame us?"
His wife, smiling, whispered something to his ear.
"B-but of course, you won't wish to hear the ramblings of an old sod like myself. People of our United Nations of Earth! Go toward the big light, and in no time, a whole new universe shall open to your explorations!"
One by one, people entered the large light of the transporter. Soon, they were being pushed as the impatient thousands of billions behind them were eager to enter. A long line of people slowly disappeared as they entered the light.
"People of our United Nations of Earth! Go on. I'm right behind you. Let me just check how much money I have in the wallet. What? ...Oh, go on ahead, my daughter must go to the bathroom. Don't worry, I'll catch up!"
After less than twenty minutes, the last few stragglers had finally entered the light, and Pedro pulled a nearby lever. The light went off. The machine was atomized and its atoms stored in the large receptacles, along with the precious hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen and other trace atoms of the rest of the Earth's population.
"There," he said, looking at his family members and close friends, "The resource problem is solved. At least for the next two or three thousand years."
His daughter giggled. Her mother opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it. Maybe it was too soon? ...Then, thirty seconds later, she did.
"I'm starving. Pancakes, anyone?"