The Cult(Like that Movie: "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies")SyndromeEdit


Of course, not everyone was afraid of the aliens, Klayton Klaus, a hand reader astrologist medium seer gipsy of the area, decided to capitalize on the sudden interest on alien stuff and at the same time obtain a bigger market, through free advertisement on TV, by telling everybody that visited him...didn't ya hear? I said he was a hand reader astrologist medium seer gipsy. Therefore, a lot visited him.

Anyway, he told the people that visited him that there was "interference" and that he could only faintly see the future of said person, when the people asked what the "interference" was, he invariably closed his eyes and slowly rose his arm until pointing at the ceiling and almost yelling: "The skies must be heard! Listen to the skies!", and then opened the eyes and apologized for "blacking out".

This, of course, made a lot more people visit him, until he felt he should start talking about the "Messages" he received regularly at his house, where he blacked out and heard a strange voice screaming at his ear: "Listen! Listen to the skies! We bring you the truth and peace and happiness and joy and joyful happiness and...happy...truthful...peace! Galactic Consortium! Galactic Consortium!". Which obviously made him quite a popular guy with his clients. In fact, he was so popular that they barely noticed when he doubled the price of his services. If anything, this made even more people visit him, because everyone knows that something expensive is better than something cheap, right?

After quite some time, people started seeing him more frequently, asking him to answer how they should act upon the various questions life posed to them, like "Where have we come from?" "Where are we going?" and "Who should I donate all my money to in order to be truly happy?", questions that Klayton was glad to answer, out of pure altruism, of course.

To better explain those important questions, Klayton decided to organize a society of individuals that would, as the group of happy joyful truthful peaceful people they were, relinquish material things like money and jewelry (Both of which, Klayton quite gently, decided to keep away safely, to impede them from giving in to the temptation and at the same time, at hand, in case they were ever truly needed), to prepare themselves for the coming of the friends from the skies. This society of individuals called themselves "The followers of Futuro", Futuro being the name of the alien entity Klayton maintained direct contact with.

Many people could not resist Klayton's promise of no worries, no need for responsibility and joyful truthful happy peace, so this Futuro, whoever he is, managed to obtain a lot of followers at the time.


Remember Jenny Greta? ...No, the pregnant girl...yeah, that one. Remember her almost bankrupt father? Well, he had a friend that was part of the cul..."Society". When this friend told him all about how Futuro is mindspeaking with Klayton, Lucas (that's the name of the father) had this awesome idea. He thought that, since the aliens can speak with people's minds, then they can also control human minds. And that people would give anything for the chance of protecting themselves from that.

He took one of his old leather jackets, cut it, glued it together again, so that it looked like a cap and glued some aluminum foil paper on it. It was still not good, so he cut an old belt of his in two halves and glued on the sides, so that the cap-like thingy wouldn't fall off your head every three seconds.

He made as many caps as he could with the short supply of raw materials he had and left the next morning to warn everyone of the dangers of mind control and give to them "For the really low price of only $164.47". Not surprisingly, everyone was scared with the prospect of being mind-controlled by the aliens and gladly bought all Lucas' anti mind-control caps.

Now, most people would be satisfied with that, he had gotten rid of his old stuff and got a lot of money for it. But not Lucas. Instead, he used all the money he got to buy the cheapest leather jackets, leather belts and aluminum paper he could find, spent an entire day making other caps and went to another bar the next morning, selling anti mind-control caps "For the really low price of only $172.80".

In a few days, Jenny's almost bankrupt father became the most successful businessman in the town. So much that several other people invented their own designs of a anti mind-control cap and retrofitted their shops to sell alien products...You know, little alien-shaped toys, alien masks, T-shirts, plastic antennas and, of course, the anti mind-control caps that started it all. Lucas' "Alienware Emporium" remained the most famous and most visited of those, and all the members of Futuro followers bought their caps there.


But while some people profited from the cult's popularity, the local church received less in donations every week, since Klayton's "Enlightenment reunions" and the sunday service, not accidentally, happened at the same time (Klayton had a disagreement of sorts with the local priest, Billy Bob Jens).

Billy Bob did take a share of the donations for his own use, so he had a personal interest in keeping as much people in the church as possible. Due to this, in the first Sunday of March he made a speech:

"The so called 'Followers of Futuro' are a threat to the well being of our fine community. They have already brought good brothers and sisters in their ranks by spreading false lies disguised as truth. They use strange magicks to talk to messengers of the devil, and thus, shall bring the wrath of The Almighty onto our city! We have no choice but to smite the heretics with the truth and end their reign of terror once and for all!"

Thus, inflamed with the priest's inspiring words, everyone in the church, led by the priest himself, went to Klaus Klayton's house, where the heathens reunited to discuss philosophical and metaphorical questions...Yes, metaphorical, not metaphysical.

I don't need to mention that Klayton wasn't all too happy when a bunch of screaming people started throwing stones at his house. But he didn't try to fight back, he just took his recently bought cell phone, called the police, got into his closet and locked it. The other members of his society didn't really enjoy the fact they were now in the middle of Klayton's house with no place to run. And silently cursing Klayton for having installed so many ten thousand dollar wide-windows in his house, hid as they could, behind the 50" plasma TV and under the 1800s hand-carved mahogany tea and dinner tables.

The police finally reached the house ten minutes later, when everything breakable (And some of the unbreakable stuff) was effectively broken, and arrested everyone they could stop from running away like Billy Bob Jens, that three days later would claim that he had no idea how those seemingly faithful christians could do such a terrible thing.

But, of course, the followers of Futuro weren't satisfied with the arrests and decided to run towards the smiters and start beating them. The police did their best to contain both the smiters and the cultists but ultimately only managed to arrest two cultists and a smiter (because they were too beaten to get up) and all the rest escaped of all charges.

Klayton later left his closet and said he was "so sorry for having blacked ou...What the hell happened here!?", because he apparently was busy communicating with a higher intelligence inside his closet, and failed to notice the commotion, but kindly informed the smiters that he would see them again in the courts, since they had apparently broke all his collection of seventeen vases from the Ming Dinasty.


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