The White 'n Black SyndromeEdit


Things were starting to escalate out of control. It was starting to get worse than any other UFO related mass hysteria we ever had. People were calling the CIA, the FBI and even the secret service talking about "sensible information" they knew at least three times more than Roswell. A new grainy video was sent to a TV station almost everyday and...well, you get the picture. Anyway, the higher-ups were starting to get worried with the thing, not because the open conflicts on the streets of course, but because more and more people were asking questions about the "UFO" crash. And I won't even mention how many people stalked around area 51. The FBI decided to send one of its best agents and his trainee to investigate the matter and arrest some people for obscure reasons.

Nathaniel White was a respected member of the bureau, even though he entered mere eight years earlier. He had attended to Harvard and was a rich lawyer, but decided he wanted a more active role in law enforcement so he began his career all over again at thirty something to join the FBI.

Larry, on the other hand, was the son of Julian Black, the third richest man in the country, owner of the "private security" corporation, Blacksec, which was nothing more than a band of mercenaries, working for dictators, presidents and kings world-wide. Because of his "lineage", Larry lived with no worries, enjoying all good things in life until he was about twenty seven years old. It was at this time that his "old man" decided he needed to start fending for himself, so he used his influence to get him in the FBI so that he could "learn the ropes" of the trade...yes, I like doing the finger quote thing, thank you very much.

So, when Nathan and Larry reached Notroswellville, they didn't even stop at their hotel before going to the house of Jenny Greta, whom they had seen on national TV. Upon reaching there they noticed that there was no buzzer, before knocking on the door.

Jenny, of course was not used to have people with black suits appearing at her door in the middle of the day, so, she was understandably surprised when she answered the door. I have a transcript somewhere here...okay, *cough*:

"W-who are you guys?"

To which Larry is this word here pronounced?...oh thanks:

"Yo! I be Larry, chick. My friend here's Nat. We from FBI, chick."

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"No ma'am, we are from the FBI, we have no sen..."

"Sheesh, dog! Don't ya finish dat sentence. We iz already infringin enough copyright as it is. Anyhoo, can we's git in, chick?"

Gosh, what language is this man speaking? And who the hell says "chick" nowadays?...Anyway, *cough*:

"As my...partner was saying, we are from the FBI and we would like to ask you some questions about the...things occurring in this town. The government fears it could cause mass hysteria. If you could be as kind as to answer" blah, blah blah, you get the drift.

"I did not invent it, if that's what you mean."

"We ain't meanin nothin. Jus answa da queshun, chick."

"Look here you...people. I am just a girl that went through a lot. I am not a liar and certainly not crazy. So if you would get out I would be glad."

"Yes, yes. You are right, miss. I am terribly sorry for any problems I and my...partner have caused to you. Could I wash my hands before leaving? If you don't mind of course. It has been a long drive from the nearest airport to here and..."

"'Course. the bathroom is the second door to the right."

"By da way, can I gets a glass o water?"

"Sure. The kitchen is right there. The refrigerator is broken, but there is water in the filter."

"Wat da hell is a filter?"

"It's a device to obtain drinking water from raw water by removing impurities. By God Larry, have you never gone to school? Ma'am, would you have, by any chance, aromatic oils in your bathroom?"

"N-no." Jenny was starting to let fear in her voice, she had suddenly realized that there were two very strange men in her house.

"Oh, that's too bad. I like those. Well, we have pestered you enough, I am terribly sorry ma'am, see you later."


We lost the audio feed until they returned to the car, where they were obviously in the middle of a conversation.

" we's do some stakeout thin, niggah. She's a lying beeyotch."

"Yes, I know that, she contributed with her "testimony" after another girl got in mass media, she wanted the fame. But a stakeout won't make her confess. We'll talk with other people and see who's the source."

"We won't gets that don by oilin our hands that's fo sho. Dig?"

"You tell me, filter boy."

"Its ain't mah fault if we don't gets those thin's in mah hood."

"Your 'hood'? You mean Palm Springs?"

"At least it ain't in som Boston dead end, niggah."

"No it isn't...whitey."

"...All I now is dat we need other clothes, dog."

" mistake. I was certain it was the cold season down here."

"If datz da cold season den I won't be gettin here in da summah." At this point, Larry turns the radio in a station playing some...gangsta rap, but the conversation goes on anyway:

"Certainly it has something to do with the greenhouse effect."

"Greenhouse effect, schumtouse effect. Yo tree huggah and ambientalicists invented diz shit ta explain yo stupidity."

"Of course...but before getting some clothes, let's talk to another of those 'witnesses'." White turns the radio off.

"Aw, dog! Ya gotta loosen up a little, niggah." but White kept silent, and after a short five minutes drive they reached Gary Mann's house. By this time Gary's paranoia had evolved to a higher stage, which means he now participated in an internet forum about aliens and spent one hour a day filming the sky, searching for any signs of flying saucers. He also, frequently, called some paranoid friends of his, saying cryptic messages, like this one, for example:

"Jihad, abortion, same sex marriage, Allah, Muhammad, Cheney, Bush...Okay, if you are hearing this, and I know you are, I want to warn you of something: I know." so, as you can see, the guy was very paranoid. Black and White didn't know that at the time, of course, but believe me when I say, they were about to find out.

"Let me do the talking this time, you hear?" said White, gently knocking at the door, Black shrugged and said "Whatevah, niggah." and Mann asked with the door closed: "Wh-who are you?".

"I am agent White and this is agent Black, we are from the FBI, we came to ask you about the..." before he could finish tough, Mann opened the door and pulled them inside, locking it afterwards. The south wall was covered by newspaper clippings, a small radio was tuned to station that sounded like static and the only source of light was a weak fluorescent lamp.

"I knew it! I told Yuri the government was not involved, but he just kept saying how you guys helped the Illuminati ascension to the national bowling league in the 60s. I knew not even the president would support the alien invasion. What you need to know?" the agents looked at each other and Black chuckled at these shocking comments.

"We...are investigating the possibility that...alien supporters...are sending fake videos to television stations, in order to misdirect our attention. So, if you hear of anyone that sends those videos...would you let us know?"

"Oh...that...I thought you wanted to know the information I dug up. Did you know this place was a sioux ritual stone circle before they built the town? I think the sioux used it to transmit messages to Beta Careontis, because..."

"Would you let us know?"

"Oh, yes, of course...but you could just answer me something? Are the Masons involved somehow?"

"...No. We...uh...uncovered very extensive evidence of that. Now, goodbye." they quickly left the house and got into the car...before they drove to the hotel, Black commented on the earlier scene.

"I thinking tha guy is nuts, dog."


Although Gary didn't hear that, he did not like the way they despised his theories, didn't reveal any information and treated him as an amateur, (which, in fact, he was) so he went and marked a "meeting" with a guy he knew for some time already, but only recently had engaged in a friendship-like relationship. This guy was Jack Thurman, and all he really wanted in life was to discover signs of life out of Earth. Not that he cared about the existence of life out of Earth out of some philosophic or scientific concern, but it was the best "get rich quickly" scheme he could think of, in the three minutes or so he spent thinking about it.

It was saturday night, so the bar was crowded when Gary got there. There were some couples and many temporally uncoupled people. Thurman was sitting near the wall farthest from the door, and Gary walked to him, noticing Jenny Greta trying to hide her belly and get the attention of a guy on the counter. When he sat, Thurman started the conversation:

"The narrator killed Ackroyd.", to which Gary quickly answered: "Not fucking fair.".

"Have you taken the usual precautions?"

"Of course."

"Good. What do you want to discuss?"

"Two strange men with suits came to my house today, a black man and a white man. They claimed to be from the FBI. I don't know about that. I think they know about you...they asked about the videos. Maybe they are working for the aliens, trying to..."

"There's a girl coming here! Misdirection maneuver number 94...really, people only buy Don Perignon because of the media. It's horrid stuff, and bes..."

"I heard what you guys said earlier. Seriously, next time you want no one to hear...try whispering. Those guys came to my house too. The white guy talks in some spanish language and the black guy just talks strange, right?"

"Dunno. The white guy didn't say anything to me. Maybe the aliens noticed he can't speak english and had him stop talking?"

"Also...the white guy didn't know what a filter was, and the black guy said he needed oil to smell good."

"So they are aliens! We have to warn..."

"Are you talking about the two guys that gone to my house?" a blond guy had approached the table where the three of them. "They weren't wearing suits when I saw them, though. Just shirts.". The next one to talk was Gary:

"So they're like the thing or the body snatchers?" this prompted everybody to stare at him, "Dude, you watching too much TV. They just changed clothes."

"Besides, they may not be aliens. Only be working for them." and it took some time, but finally someone stated the obvious: "Or maybe they are really from the FBI.".

"Of course not. Why would the FBI want to find who knows about the UFOs? The only reasonable explanation is that the aliens sent two of their people, disguised with holograms, to take us off their trail. I heard of this kind of in black suits come, mess with your mind and then BAM! They put a parasite in your medolla oblungota..." When Gary finished, he was smiling, but everyone had left the table by now, a fact that prompted him to frown and go home, finished for the night.


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