The Look! Up in the Sky! SyndromeEdit
We are not sure how this all started since we only started monitoring the "crisis situation" after it got "crisiful". But we have pretty reliable information that it went down like this: There's this girl, she is the mayor's daughter and...wait, let me do some localization first. Just tell you how the city is...sort of, I mean, I can't just tell the story like that, you need to understand the background...shut up.
Well, Notroswellville is, like I said, a small town. It is near the center of New Mexico. Southeast of Albuquerque and near interstate forty. The town is pretty ordinary...what you mean "ordinary"? Ordinary! Like politicians with white hair. Anyway, there's the main street, a direct link to the outside world, where, sometimes, trucks pass by, it's along the main street that most of the shops are, because most the profit the city gets is through tourism, since there is no industry 'round there.
Another profitable sector of the town is agriculture, specially corn and wheat, there is also some chicken production, but they sell mostly to the various restaurants and bars in town so they don't give much profit. At any rate the town was broke, the mayor was going crazy...not literally, of course. But he couldn't get industries to get into town, unless, of course, he gave subsidies, something he did not intend to do...Yes, he did get his share of the taxes...if we took him out, people would know that we knew about him and did nothing...just shut up.
And then, like I said before, in a beautiful sunny day of spri...well, I said it now...in a beautiful day of spring, the daughter of the mayor, Mary Thompson...she was a redhead, I heard...no, I never saw her...she was seventeen at the time, so she must be thirty...six now...Well, it's common knowledge in the agency, but she lives in Iowa, she's married with an illegal alien called Cezár, has three kids, one of them is in state prison, the other in an asylum for criminally insane and the other is currently leading a revolution in a small Central American republic, he plans to kill the dictator in three months, seven days and eight hours, is married with Julia del Paso Grande whose real name's Gabriella Lombardi, she pretends to be Spanish, but is in fact Italian and works with a Central American based group off anti globalization terrorists that plan to blow the Statue of Liber...Oh yes, the story...
Anyway, Mary, like many girls, wanted to be an actress, she didn't want to just flee to Hollywood like most of them though, she had a more refined, if not more lazy, plan. It involved getting famous before becoming an actress, because, everybody knows that people don't watch a movie because those people can act...anyone can act, if they try hard enough...people watch a movie either because the actors are hot, or because the actors have this attractive aura, thanks to the media...well, why do you think they marry and unmarry every month?...anyway, Mary Thompson had this plan, become famous, and then becoming an actress...but she wasn't really sure how, of course.
At any rate, in a beautiful sunny day of spring, Mary had woke up, took a shower, took a dip in the pool and was currently just resting on a poolside chair, under the sun, because she heard that would help with her acne, which she had a lot...yes, a pool...didn't I mention the mayor took a share of the taxes? *clears throat* a friend of hers, two years older than her came to pay a visit, his name was Gary Mann, under many aspects he was just like any other teen of his age, only he was more, how can I say...no, naive.
The housemaid had opened the door for him and told him Mary was on the pool. Before he reached her though he saw her resting on the chair, with sunglasses, he, quite understandably, thought she was looking at the sky. When he got near her he asked: "What're ye lookin at? Clou..." what?...it is a texan accent...well, I don't know, but they must talk something like that in New Mexico. Anyway, the girl knew about his problem so she, in a quite believable and natural manner replied "UFOs.".
Gary was, again understandably, skeptical, he asked her if she was serious and she, in an again believable and natural manner, replied that yes, so Gary asked how they were. She put on a serious face and talked about how they were like flying saucers with blinking lights and flew around in a strange way, flying fast and stopping in an instant, not exactly with these words, of course.
To give him even more reason to believe, (As if he needed any) she proceeded to explain how Notroswellville was almost exactly in the middle of the "Sliver Square", something she made up on the spot. According to her, the Sliver Square is a squa...rish region with its "angles" on the cities of Farmington, Raton, Lordsburg and Carlsbad...yes, Carlsbad...I'm serious, look at a map and see for yourself. Inside this Square many alien sightings were supposedly reported, but sources in the agency confirm that no sighting was reported before that day...
Well, according to sources, on the day before, three guys that claimed to have seen a UFO were being interviewed on the local radio, some actress was interviewed on the late show, claiming to have seen a UFO and a one hour documentary about UFO sightings was shown on the Discovery Channel. We believe that she thought that "seeing" a UFO was a good way to get famous. Or maybe she just wanted to play with the boy's mind.
Anyway, Gary and Mary talked a little, swam around and did the kind of things people do when visiting each other for no particular reason. They didn't talk again about the UFOs, but even after leaving, Gary didn't stop thinking about them.
Of course Gary didn't keep that little piece of information to himself. He told everyone he knew about how Mary had seen five flying saucers that telerported around and disappeared in a blink of eyes. And those people talked to others how Mary had seen eleven flying saucers that glowed with a strange blue light disguised as clouds. Francis Bacon, owner of the "Bacon's assorted meat emporium", talked about how he had seen those same flying saucers, you know, the ones that were partially invisible and had two strange antennae made of pure electricity. Herman Hardy, owner of the "Hardy's bodybuilding gymnasium" said that one month ago he had seen UFOs too, but that they looked more like two big, floating metallic balls that bounced around.
Soon the whole town was talking about UFOs, be it the triangular white with yellow blinking lights or the flat, translucid circular ones. UFOs were the favorite subject in barbers, restaurants, bars, dinners, drive-ins and a whole lot more places. The son of a local antique shop owner even said he had been abducted and apparently the aliens were after a strange, badly crafted, broken music box made of lead, that he said was from a nearby aztec archaeological dig but was in fact made by his wife.
This continued during about three days. The "alien craze", as it was called, attracted the attention of the media, and soon they were interviewing the various "witnesses", and this, of course, caused even more "witnesses" to appear. After some time, actually a few hours, they decided to interview the person that first dared to talk about the multitude of UFOs sighted almost daily in Notroswellville.
I don't even need to state that Mary was happy to help the press in their holy quest for the truth, but the mayor didn't want to get involved in the whole UFO business. Like you, he was worried about his reputation, but unlike you, he had a reputation to worry about. In the end tough, annoying insistence won over prudence, and the good mayor allowed his daughter to speak to the press.
She gave the most passionate, heart-breaking, funny, shocking and thoroughly believable description of what she "saw" that the reporters ever...reported. Her words were heard in full in the only radio station of the town and she was seen in her full glory during the whole thirty minutes, without cuts, of the interview, she gave to the only TV station of the town.
I won't bore you with the details, all you need to know is that town was going crazy. Tourism agencies added it to the "The tour from outer space!"...you know, famous UFO landing sites, area 51, Hollywood...some people make a lot of money with this kind of thing. So, alien aficionados flocked to the town...I don't mean the aficionados are alien...alien aficionados! people that go to those conventions, ufologists, Hollywood people, paranoids, cult followers...not people that like Plan 9 from outer space...People that worship aliens, dumbass.
At any rate, there was this gir
I can't believe you didn't notice the tape was over. I'll have to tell it all over aga...well, you wouldn't like to waste two minutes like that, would you? Anyway...
There was this girl, Greta, Jennifer Greta. Jenny didn't knew Mary. She was poor, and Mary was rich, so they didn't talk with each other. Jenny was a blondie with sixteen years old and all the money her poor father made was used for her benefice. She had one little problem tough, she was pregnant. And when her boyfriend discovered, he left her, and no boy in the entire town would get within one meter of her.
Little Jenny, of course, was in a very, very sad (in-between spending her father's money and hangin' out with her girlfriends). Not only she was going to become a single mother, but she wouldn't be able to pursue an acting career...yes, it is kind of a trend over there.
So, as you can imagine, when Mary gave that interview to the TV, and regional press came to the town, Jenny was one of the first to volunteer for an interview. Nothing fancy, just one minute, if she was lucky. And she knew she had to be really original if she wanted to get even that, so, she said the most atrocious thing she could imagine.
She said the aliens visited her one night and, well, mated with her. She then gave the first description of the aliens, which was, and I quote: "Human...ish". But she was sure it was a "holgram", because "he, unh, felt slippery and all that". I tell ya, sci fi should be more restricted than porn. So she got three minutes in the city and one minute and a half statewide. Other girls (and some men) also told stories of "immediate contacts" later, but none had the pregnancy to prove it, so Jenny became the second most well known girl in the town.
But the results weren't quite the ones she planned. All she managed to do was to attract the attention of a bunch of activists for the upcoming referendum on abortion. Both the sides of the "conflict" tried to use her as an example of how they were right. Made manifestations in front of her house, made TV ads with interview images, wrote letters to her and wrote letters to congresspeople. They wanted to establish if she wanted an abortion, if she could have an abortion and if she needed the consent of the father for that. Whenever the two groups met each other in the streets they started open conflict and, well, let's just say that in the end, she did get the attention she was looking for.Navigation