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Documentary of a fantasy creature.
Moomins (Moominus hippopotamicus) are generally peaceful creatures, but not much about these white little bullows, as they are rather rare. The study of Moomins is referred to as 'lanitology'; the study of lanitees. Lanitees are the result of Manatees evolving into land-dwelling animals.
Moomins Natural habitatEdit
Legends have been told by the elder scrolls, that a legendary magical place exists west from turku hat a magical land exists. That land is been told that is full of happy little moomins. Legend tells that if you try and take a moomin from its natural habitat it will RIP YOUR F***ING FACE OFF!!! then eat it, stomp on it, and spit on where your face was in triumph. Nobody really knows.
When the Moomins first came to 'their' valley, it was a peaceful place inhabited by Mymbles and Hemulens. However slowly but surely the moomins managed to establish their crime syndicate within the valley and make the inhabitants work for them in slave like conditions. The Moomin House became the head quarters for their operations but they had influence that reached in to the neighboring valleys.
As time passed others came to this valley, including a small, kangaroo like creature named Sniff who used his cold hearted and loyal nature to rise among the moomin ranks. Eventually he became a close friend of Moomintroll, the heir to the moomin fortune. On one of their trips to check on the poppy fields growing close to Too-tiki's house they met the young anti-corruption undercover officer Snufkin. He had been travelling to Moomin Valley on the orders from his DI in order to infiltrate the organization and report back his findings. He saw the chance encounter as his way in and in disguise of a traveler he decided to befriend Moomintroll. Shortly afterwards Snufkin was invited to move in to the valley and he set up camp along the river. He was a creature of great need of solitude, which was together with his great intellect the reason why he got the assignment in the first place, and it also made it easier for the officer to maintain his disguise and avoid detection.
After some time (during which Moominmamma and Pappa married Moomintroll off to wealthy hotel heiress, Snork Maiden) he decided that he had enough evidence to bring down the syndicate and started packing for going back to his office in the city. Meanwhile Sniff has started to suspect that there was something suspicious about the traveler and started spying on him. Sniff soon discovered the evidence Snufkin had gathered and tried to tell the Moomins, but Snufkin managed to struck him out cold before he had the chance. After hiding the unconscious body off Sniff, Snufkin took his bagpack and set off towards the south border where the Moomintroll confronted him. He told Snufkin that his marriage was a hollow sham, partly because of the Snork Maiden's odd relationship with her brother, but also because he loved another. Snufkin realized what Moomintroll was implying and sadly shook his head. Even though he had secretly fancied the Moomintroll for a long time, he decided to gently turn down the Moomintroll’s offer since he knew that the other would never give up his family and run away with him. Moonintroll was devastated but understood the logic of Snufkin’s decision, knowing that he’d break his mother’s heart if he left his wife for his friend. They embraced and gave the silent promise of never to talk about it again.
With a heavy heart Snufkin left the valleyto go back to his old life carrying with him only the memories of the time spent the Moomin Valley.
The first known Moomins (Ollie's ancestor Jeminigillybob)Edit
Moomins are believed to of have evolved from a rare type of cross breed between a hippo, a bear and an albino monkey in Moomin Valley approximately 10 000 years ago. They were considered generally gentle and calm creatures that lived in larger groups of family units. Family has always been very important for the moomins, the moomin parents would go to any lenghts in order to protect their children.
Moomins in politics Edit
Moomins are a considerable political force in Finland, Sweden, and Japan. In Finland, Moominmamma has even been elected president. The political agenda of Moomin parties in these countries remains somewhat unclear. Moomins have traditionally been supporters of international dialogue and raspberry juice. They have often expressed their desire to reach a happy ending in times of international conflict. Whether Hideki Tojo, the infamous Japanese military commander, was actually a Moomin is open to doubt, despite of the claims introduced in the book Moomins and Militarism in the Far East by Finnish historian Juhani Suomi.
Moomins in terrorist activities Edit
Following the tragic events of 9/11, a rather small group of mooministic extremists known as "The fluffy white wings of Mullah" were top suspects of the crime. This was mainly because they had always sworn to "fly heavy objects into tall significant land things" unless Finland surrendered the insignificant island of Åland to their leader: Papa Moomins bastard son: Usama Ahtisaari. The Swedish secret service (SEPPO) raided Moomin Valley in 10/11 (they were delayed due to some misunderstanding concerning the notation of date used in the US) and retrieved the original plans written by Usama Ahtisaari. However, the plans said that a large hot air balloon would be flown into the eiffel tower while flying in the same direction as the wind, thus causing maximum damage. It was now clear that The Fluffy White Wings Of Mullah had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks. Many experts on terrorism (including the creators of Jamba and some mosquito breeders) believe that the plans were stolen from "the fluffy wings" by a US spy and modified before the actual attacks. The US Government of course had to test the plans to see if the nation was vulnerable to such an attack, this then led to the actual "terrorist" attack on 9/11.
Luckily the moomins weren't convicted, after vigorous LAND SURVEYING by Brendan Urie.
Famous Moomins Edit
- Martti Ahtisaari aka Papa Moomin, former Finnish President
- Moominmamma, Finnish President
- Göran Persson, Swedish Prime Minister
- Fredrik Reinfeldt, Swedish Prime Minister
- Eminem, prior to her conversion to the Japanese way of the pillow
- Ryan Speed, former owner or Parcel "sauce" Force, prior to huffing related injuries
- Lauren Bowman, Irish school girl who heroically saved something once.