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May The Christ Be With You

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by Enterprise-G

As the timelines of multiple centuries and multiple technologies cross, Einhänder and her crew find themselves in a battle with the famed Galactic Empire.


On April 6, 2380 on the planet Syphon II, a group of people formed the Syphonian Church of Christ. As of June 15, 2404, the church has innumerable members spanning the Milky Way Galaxy. The church owns several decommissioned 23rd-century starships, bought from the Qualor II surplus depot. One of these ships is Einhänder. Einhänder is a heavy cruiser, previously known as U.S.S. Newton, decommissioned on October 8, 2300.


Captain's Log, stardate 81455.8, Einhänder is returning from her study of Old Man's Nebula. We are heading back to the Syphonian Church of Christ for fellowship, prayer, and pot luck.

Captain Gænus Votar sits in the command chair at the center of the circular Bridge. Gænus is of the humanoid Yrondite species. She has long, red hair, and blue eyes. She has a black arrow on her forehead. She also has black arrows on the back of her hands. Gænus is smiling, and she can hardly wait to get back to church to see what they have on the menu.

T'Vok, a Klingon with long, black hair, is the helmsman. Beside him is the navigator Malorie Crabhouse, a human with short, blonde hair, and blue eyes. Behind Gænus is the Vulcan scientist T'Opan, who has long, black hair, and brown eyes. Beside T'Opan is Senior Jack Southern, the communications operator who wears a cowboy hat and has blue eyes.

T'OPAN: Er, Gænus?

GÆNUS: Yes, T'Opan?

T'OPAN: The sensors are picking up a massive disturbance of space directly ahead.

GÆNUS: What is it?

T'OPAN: It is a wormhole.

GÆNUS: Is it stable?

T'OPAN: Yes

SOUTHERN: Gænus, someone is hailing us.

GÆNUS: Put it on screen.

A brown-bearded man with long, brown hair appears on screen.

MAN: This is Commodore Hendersen Mayhim of U.S.S. Cheyenne. We are under attack. We need assistance.

GÆNUS: This is Captain Votar of Einhänder. We are on our way Commodore.

The screen switches back to the view of the passing stars.

GÆNUS: Southern, send a message to the church telling them that we will be late.

SOUTHERN: Yes, Ma'am

GÆNUS: T'Vok, increase speed.

T'VOK: Yes, Ma'am


Einhänder drops from warp near the wormhole. Gænus sees a fleet of Star Destroyers. One of the Star Destroyers fires its weapons at Einhänder. They did little damage to the shields, for Einhänder moved out of the line of fire.

A squadron of TIE Fighters attack Cheyenne. Cheyenne's phasers dance round as they try to hit the fighters but to no avail.

GÆNUS: T'Vok, show those fighters what our ship can do.

T'VOK: I am firing guided photon torpedoes.

Several blue-glowing torpedoes emerge from Einhänder's torpedo launchers. The torpedoes hit the TIE Fighters, destroying them.

Meanwhile, onboard one of the Star Destroyers, Admiral Bork receives a message from Darth Vader.

DARTH VADER: Admiral Bork, return to the Death Star. We have a problem.

BORK: Yes, Lord Vader, all ships, back into the wormhole.


Einhänder tractors Cheyenne back to Starbase L-042 Gamma.

GÆNUS: Starbase L-042 Gamma, this is Captain Votar of Einhänder, we have the U.S.S. Cheyenne in tow.

A kind, feminine voice comes through the intercom.

ADMIRAL GREGORI: This is Admiral Gregori of Starbase L-042 Gamma. You have permission to dock here.

GÆNUS: Thank you


Gænus speaks with the admiral in her office.

ADMIRAL GREGORI: Thank you, Captain Votar, for towing Cheyenne here.

GÆNUS: You are welcome, Admiral.

Gregori notices Gænus's clothing.

ADMIRAL GREGORI: I take it that you are a member of the Syphonian Church of Christ.

GÆNUS: Yes

ADMIRAL GREGORI: Our sensors detected a large disturbance of space near here.

GÆNUS: It is a wormhole, Ma'am. Coming from it were triangular vessels, which carried fighters. Cheyenne was under attack by them.

ADMIRAL GREGORI: Your ship did not get a scratch on it.

GÆNUS: Well, Ma'am, they retreated back into the wormhole. Our communications operator was able to intercept the communique. There was a voice that sounded like it came from a respirator, telling the fleet to return to the Death Star.

ADMIRAL GREGORI: I see. Captain Votar, could you do me a favor?

GÆNUS: Of course Admiral

ADMIRAL GREGORI: After we repair Cheyenne, could you use your ship to lead a fleet through the wormhole?

GÆNUS: Yes, Admiral, I will do that.


The Death Star, a sphere about 160 kilometers in diameter, quietly floats in the star-spangled blackness that is space. A wormhole opens, and 12 ships emerge from it.

A male voice comes through the intercom.

EMPEROR SULU: This is Emperor Sulu of the Terran Empire! Prepare to be conquered!

DARTH VADER: Conquered? This Emperor Sulu obviously does not know with whom he meddles.

Vader pushes a button, opening a channel to his fleet.

DARTH VADER: Admiral Bork, prepare your ships for attack. I am launching Grim Reaper.

BORK: Yes, my Lord

Someone else's voice comes through the intercom.

VOICE: Lord Vader, the other wormhole has opened.

A fleet of seven starships emerge from the other wormhole.


Meanwhile, onboard I.S.S. Excelsior, Emperor Sulu's ship . . .

TACTICAL OFFICER: My Lord, sensors indicate that that huge ship that sphere just launched is eight kilometers in length!

EMPEROR SULU: Size matters not Lieutenant! Communications, open a channel to my fleet!

The communications officer opens a channel.

EMPEROR SULU: Excelsior, Vortex, and Eris will be attacking the largest vessel! I want the rest of you to attack the smaller vessels! We will conquer these people even if this fleet's decimated to the point that there is only one ship left! Are you ready?

Overlapping battle cries erupt from the speakers.

Excelsior, Vortex, and Eris move in to attack Grim Reaper.

CAPTAIN VILTRAS: I pity the fool that audaciously takes on one of the Empire's most powerful ships. Scatter their atoms!

Grim Reaper fires its turbo-lasers at the oncoming starships. They hit Excelsiors's shields.

TACTICAL OFFICER: Shields down to 90 percent!

EMPEROR SULU: Fire torpedoes!

Excelsior, Vortex, and Eris fire their torpedoes at Grim Reaper.

Excelsior heads toward Grim Reaper's bridge, firing phasers and torpedoes. The Excelsior destroys one of the bridge module's spheres.

TACTICAL OFFICER: My Lord, we are detecting holes in the shields!

EMPEROR SULU: Fire into those holes!

Excelsior, Vortex and Eris fire their weapons at the vulnerable parts of Grim Reaper.

CAPTAIN VILTRAS: Get rid of those pesky maggots!

Grim Reaper fires a missile, which hits Eris, destroying her.

To be continued . . .

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