Mage/1
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[edit] Fehu
[edit] A Facade
[edit] Starlight ponders her studies
Her room was not decorated; there was a single door, a single window, and a single bed. Beside her stood a wooden table, on which were placed her books. They were stacked two feet high: her parents had felt the need to pressure her into studying by showing her the amount of material she needed to cover within the next four years. Otherwise, if she failed her examination, there would be no chance for her to participate in the community as a priestess.
Her parents obviously had made a poor decision, as it was very likely that in those four years at least some of the books they had bought would become outdated or too worn for much effective use. Sometimes she fancied taking a match to the books and letting them simply burn...the fresh air from the window would blow it into a firestorm, and even so, it couldn't match with her anger at being given this hefty task to achieve while her parents were--where were they?
From off in the distance, she could hear feet walking over the carpet grass. Two pairs of them. The sounds became slightly louder as they approached the house; from inside, Starlight knew that they were probably coming in to prepare breakfast. She heard bits of the conversation:
"I hope she's studying..." "All that work..." "Repay her debt..."
[edit] Starlight prepares to meet her parents
Starlight quickly sat down in her chair, opened the nearest book on her table, and began to peruse through it, though probably not knowing what she was reading, as all the words were, to her blurry and just-awakened mind, the characteristic nonsense of studying that she was being made to do. For she wanted what all the others wanted, or so she thought: to have fun, to enjoy life while still young, and not work so hard in youth only to enjoy the bittersweet victory of success at old age, when one would be too old to do what one wanted to do but never could while still a child.
The door to her bedroom opened without a creak; she could sense her parents entering, their breathing suddenly changed as they saw how seemingly diligently she was studying. But if they knew that she was merely pretending, the punishment that they might levy on her... But the time for that had yet to come.
As her parents prepared breakfast, they also acknowledged, somewhat too happily: "Good work, darling. It's good that you realize how important these years are to your long-term success in life..."
Silently, Starlight sighed. She turned around and looked at them meekly, resigning herself to the adult-sounding monotony that they would repeat all over again:
[edit] Her parents instruct her
"Yes, with that kind of hard work, there's no way they won't accept you. You'll be a fine priestess, I assure you. Village priestesses have the best life. They don't have to do much, and are so very well respected, and get all that they ask for, especially recognition in the village. There would be no career better suited for you than this one. Four years! Four years more, that's all it takes--we know it's incredibly difficult on you, but this is something that we're sure you can bear it through, and when you do, you'll be so happy that you did it...
"But such a lifetime-scale success must be worked for during your early years. You're still young; you don't know how rough the competition out in the real world may be. But we're not; we're adults, and we can tell you this: that if you study as hard as you can, and put your mind and body into it, you're going to be rewarded in a way that few others in the village could, and in a way something we certainly couldn't."
At this point her mother raised her plow. "You see what we have to do every day. We've given this room for you, so that you'd see, whenever you looked up and out the window, us toiling in the heat of day, working to provide a living for you and to allow you time to study these books, so that when you grow up, you won't have to face the same difficulties and hardships that we had to. You would be able to buy similar books for your children, and still have money left over to journey to distant places, while when we bought these books for you we didn't have anything left over, nothing except some notices of the loans that we had borrowed and must someday repay.
"You're only ten. You should listen to us when we tell you of all the good things that will come in life. No worries... just the next four years, until your examination at age fourteen. Then after that, life is just a free ride sponsored by everyone in the village. It's an opportunity you can't miss..."
Starlight let the parents alternate their speaking roles, while concentrating on drinking her milk (quite a bit of it, as the family was relatively well-off despite her parents' claims to the contrary) and tuning out of their conversation almost entirely. She paid just enough attention to give a meaningful nod every once in a while, knowing that she didn't care a whit about what she said and that she had been studying for the priestesshood for the past three years just to please them. It didn't matter, however, whether they were pleased; she would more likely than not simply fail the examination anyway. Then what would they say? Seven years wasted, and nothing else to turn to at age fourteen, with maybe the possible exception of marriage to some man some two years further down the road--not a particularly heartening proposition.
[edit] Uruz
[edit] The Status Quo
[edit] Starlight thinks of burning her books
The nearly daily ritual over, her parents departed, ready to do some more farm work to keep the family alive and 'keep Starlight doing her studying rather than wasting her precious time farming'. Starlight turned around a few delayed moments later, looked at the book she had opened and barely read a word of, put it away with a sigh, and fingered the collection until she found the one she was actually reading:
The first one. She had made practically no progress, which was why she thought that it would only be horrors, not heavens, that would come to her once she had finished her exam. Why am I doing this, she thought. There must be something better to do in this world, something that I haven't been able to find because I'm effectively locked up in this house, at least until I turn fourteen--and by that time, it would probably be too late to go looking for something to do. I would have to begin looking for it sometime soon.
The match. I want a match. And a coarse surface, too, so that the first swipe will ignite the wood. Then the entire collection that my parents had so painstakingly collected will go down in ashes...and when they come back to check on me, I too will have vanished, and their dreams for me as village priestess will have vanished into the ashes as well.
The matches and matchbox were right under her bed. They had been there for almost a month now. Someday soon, she thought. Someday I will free myself from this mental captivity, and run away from home, to go live the life that I love...the life I want to live in my dreams. But then, as she looked back at her parents through the window, with the sun streaming in, and the sweat on their skin, she wonderered, if not for the thousandth time, how she could do this--how she could destroy their one hope for her and indirectly for the salvation of their souls, their greatest dream yet her greatest nightmare...
No. I won't light the match. That would come later. As I have said to myself for the hundredth time: today isn't the right time; wait for tomorrow. And so on. And so on.
[edit] Starlight falls asleep while reading
Starlight turned back to her studying, and tried to read the text yet again. But, try as she might, the material would not click: I don't have the talent to become a village priestess, she thought. If everyone could do it, then the position wouldn't be so great a trophy for anyone. And then she gradually zoned out, re-entering the world of her dreams, falling asleep onto the book as the hands propping up her head collapsed, and she nestled in the comfort of the two sides of the book, losing track of time, as the dawn evolved into morning.
She was in the beautiful countryside of Bahasa, her home village; the sky was a beautiful shade of blue with fluffy golden and pink clouds racing across. A strong wind was blowing her way, and she was running. She turned back, and saw nothing; but knew that there was a darkness approaching, something that she could sense yet not sense, and it frightened her. She kept on running, further and further in the gleaming yellow grain-fields, as fast as her slippers could carry her. The decorative ring she had gotten for her seventh birthday came flying off as her hand scraped a bunch of leaves, and so she halted. Looking around, she groped for her lost prize, the ring that meant so much to her, but couldn't find her. The time was ticking away: she sensed a darkness lurking, coming closer and closer with every moment. The winds were blowing, fiercely now, so that the ring could have rolled far away; she cried out: "My ring! Where's my ring? Come back to me!"
But no answer from the ring. So she stretched out her hand, tried to sense where it was, knowing that the magic of her own belief in herself was enough. She raised her outstretched hand back in the direction from where she had come rushing, where the darkness loomed.
She was running out of time, she realized. There was a menace approaching. And she knew that it was the truth. As the elders always said, dreams never lied. They always came true in the end, though it may be far away and hidden in the murky water.
[edit] Starlight's magical vision
Something's got to let go. And I can't let myself fall apart. Something's got to give, to change. Things can't always stay the way they have been for so long. That was what my dream is trying to tell me. Maybe I can find it out on my own, she thought. Maybe I should go exploring the world, the way I explore the world of the dreams. Only now, the real world is catching up with my dreams...
She tensed even harder, imagined a silver thread connecting herself with the ring--knowing all the same that the time was dripping away--and as she saw a bright glow shine in that direction, she heard a deafening boom; something had let go, something that had been inside her had at last started to give way; now all she had to do was bring it to its conclusion.
Meanwhile, in her soul she could feel that she had linked back with her ring, and so she strained, contorted herself so that the very force of her mind would pick up the lost object.
And from far away in the golden stalks of grain came rushing forth toward her outstretched finger, the gold, glistening.
It was magic.
[edit] Thurisaz
[edit] Final Visit
[edit] Starlight visits the village
When she came back to attention of her self, she jolted, for some not so apparent reason. Wide awake now, she took up her hand to look at it carefully, and coddled the tiny ring on her finger. It was still there. But of course it was there. Was the dream true? Was there something dangerous headed toward her?
She stood up, and looked out the window. Her parents were toiling far away, following their work-animals and tilling the fields, so she could slip away. After changing into a more appropriate dress to wear in the village, she took off for the nearby village of Bahasa.
The sky was empty. The breeze was calm. There were people milling about, but not many, or at least not until she got to the village. She walked for half an hour before she saw the clutter of houses protruding from the earth--the village. There, things were bustling, people were chatting, and working together at their crafting jobs. There were several hundred houses in the village, and although the next settlement was several day's journeying away, she still had yet to know this nearest village inside and out.
The people looked at her, and were surprised by her appearance. They muttered to each other: "My, she's a beauty." Or: "She's a fine lady. I wonder who her parents are?" Or still: "Haven't seen her kind around here so often." They continued to chat about her until she had passed them. Nearby, a wheelbarrow rolled past, filled with produce to take to the market, and pushed by a man with his children about him; they must live around here for the children to come as well. There were tables and stalls scattered about in the village forum; various places to do whatever one wished to do, whether it be selling, buying, learning, teaching, crafting, smithing...
[edit] A reunion with friends
"Hi there, Starlight," spoke an old man in a clear voice, amidst all the chattering and clanging going on in the background. The place was busy and noisy from dawn to dusk. "You here to find someone?"
Starlight whirled around, rather shocked, until she saw who it was: Old Randy, who had been her friend for years. "Oh, it's you," she half-answered, rather shyly. "I wouldn't have guessed. And yes, I'm here to find someone, of course...I'm here to find everyone!" She slightly raised her voice at the last few words to stress her point.
The old man looked at her, half-suspiciously, half-mockingly, and definitely a bit slowly: "Oh I see. Well then, I guess you'd want to stop by the village wishing well, I hear that's the only place where you can see yourself in your reflections."
Starlight smiled. She knew that the old man was just playing with her. "All I'll see in the reflection is myself, and my ancestry, which is pretty much everyone here," she said, delighted at having solved the riddle. "But no, I'm looking for something...deeper. Hidden away inside my soul."
"Really? Well then I suggest you play with your friends right there." At that, almost as if on que, two eleven-year-old children came bounding up to greet her, with smiles on their faces.
Starlight greeted in kind. "Hey Sam, hey Phae, nice to see you here. What's up?"
Sam answered. "Not much, just following my dad." Meanwhile, the old man departed on his walking stick, a smile still stuck on his face with the knowledge that his protege Starlight was gaining knowledge by the moment.
[edit] Starlight tries to break her bonds with home
Starlight nodded. She would have to part with them soon. You're just an irritation, an obstacle, she thought. If you weren't here I would be more easily able to break apart from this world, and go somewhere else. You're all keeping me in here, in a realm where I have no reason to stay in, have no love for. And when I do leave? Will you have forgotten me by the time I return? In ten years, will we still be friends? It was a rhetorical question, as she knew the answer: No.
She withdrew, even while nodding at every bit of talk that her two dear friends had to say, even as they hugged each other. She could not allow herself to become emotionally attached to anything now, or leaving would be impossible. That was why I had paid a trip here, she thought. I can't spoil my chance.
Starlight looked toward the old man, who was walking away now. You too are just an anchor holding me here, she said. You're old, and I'm young. We'll have to go our separate ways sooner or later. Why not sooner?
She turned to look at the other people she recognized who were speaking to each other and having a merry time working together, out in the village's main street. Why, this must be the same at dozens of other places in the world, she told herself. Why must I stay here? What does it all mean?
[edit] Upon the steps of the village temple
Starlight continued to walk forward until she reached the village temple, one of the few stone buildings in a settlement of wooden structures. She counted the stone steps. Twenty-four, leading from the base to the peak, arranged in three groups of eight each. She walked up to it, up the first step, then the second. She knew that there were other people looking at her as she stood, alone now, facing the great stone temple which stood out of the ground in all its majesty, dwarfing her by far. From this giant building exuded a powerful aura, one that spoke of ancient times, and, even more so, of power.
No, she could not take the third step. She was not ready for that yet.
Maybe I'll come back, she said. But I can't walk up these stairs just now. So she backed down, and walked away. Just as she turned around, it seemed as if the others, who had been watching her, also relaxed, and averted their gaze from her. They too had trouble getting the nerve to rush to the top of the temple, felt the symbolic significance of its twenty-four steps. They looked once again at the little girl walking away from the temple in defeat. Someday, some of the elderly residents of the village thought to themselves, someday, little girl, you too will be able to arrive at the apex. But not yet. Not yet. Right now you have other things to do.
So Starlight departed from the village, and walked home. Along the way, she disregarded everything that she saw as just an obstacle that she had to leap over. There were ever so many, she realized. And sooner or later, she would have to take the final step.
The sky overhead had its first clouds now; nothing major, just a change in the weather, that was all. And before her stretched a seemingly endless expanse of road, leading off into the horizon, into infinity, into eternity.
[edit] The Winds of Change
[edit] Starlight's birthday
When she returned to her house, it seemed different from what it had been before; her tiredness evaporated as she turned around, looking at the decorations that had been placed on the walls. An assortment of bedazzling ornaments, of all colors, created a sparkling glitter throughout the room, and the light from the window bespoke a different tint: it was nearly evening, and her parents, upon discovering her asleep, must have assumed that she had just taken a midday nap. They hadn't guessed the truth, that she had slept since morning.
It's my birthday, Starlight remembered. My eleventh birthday. Today ends the last cycle of my years, and begins a new one. Today is a day of change. May it be for better...
The sound of knocking on the door. Starlight sat up abruptly, and walked forth to open it. A handsome boy of twelve years peeked in, forming a smile on his face as soon as he saw Starlight. Starlight smiled back, almost shyly; no doubt Andrew had come to wake her up from her slumber and welcome her to her own birthday party being prepared in the hall outside. She pulled the door open completely, and in a jejune, mutual embrace of knowing each other for years as friends, the two hugged.
"How are you? This last year's been a long time. I've missed you so much!"
"Me too! Hopefully your life this past year has been more interesting than mine."
"Why, what's the problem, Star?"
"I've got so much to study for," she replied, as the two walked out into the hall of her house. "I'm preparing for a test. You know, the village priestess exam. And I'm having trouble at it." She grimaced, knowing that this birthday party was both unmerited on her part for her lack of studying this past year, and because it would delay her studying yet again.
[edit] Celebrating Starlight's birthday
The others were waiting outside: Starlight's parents, her friends Grace and An, and the parents of all three guest children, sitting on the chairs around the dining table, with a cake set alone in the middle, and the dancing light of the small chandelier above scintillating around the room. Eleven candles were flickering among the cream, their glows exuding a warmth that she recognized immediately and cherished.
"Happy birthday!" they all shouted in unison. Then they proceeded to sing the happy birthday song, as they had on every one of her birthdays.
"Why thank you! Thank you all so much for coming! Oh, this is going to be fun!" Starlight had practically forgotten all about the work that she had ahead of her. She hugged the other children as well; they were her dearest friends. The four of them had known each other since several years back.
"All right kids, let's cut the cake!" declared Starlight's father as he handed the cutting knife to her. "You're ten years old--it's about time you cut the cake on your own." Starlight gleamed with excitement as she sliced the cake obtusely several times, and pulled out the biggest piece of cake for herself. The spoons were being passed around, and the children greedily plunged into the delicious delicacy. Cakes didn't come around all that often, especially for the children of farmers. Starlight was, as customary, the first to ask for another slice, and within a few minutes the plates were all empty. The birthday party would now begin for real, and they were all tingling with excitement and bursting with anticipation.
[edit] The four go out into the fields
The children had the rest of the day to themselves. Instinctively, Starlight avoided her own room, dreading the return to her studies which she would eventually have to do, and led the others outside into the farms, where the tall grains grew to the height of their heads. It didn't matter that none of them were dressing farmers' clothing; didn't matter that their parents would be displeased when they saw them again with dirt and mud all over; didn't matter what the others would think of them. For now, all that mattered was that they have their share of fun as far away from their parents as they could easily go.
Now, out in the fields and hidden by the tall grains, the children rested. It felt wonderful to be away from their parents, to be with others their own age and who understood them as no others could. The four were now, for however fleeting an instant, making their own choices, in charge of their own fates. It was a freedom and an attunement for nature and companionship that they held dearest to them. So, even though such occasions were not all that common, yet they appreciated it for what it was worth to their young and innocent souls, which could not stay so young and innocent indefinitely.
After they had regained their breath from running for so long, they sat down in the shade of the grains and chatted: about their families and friends, what they had done recently, what rumors they had heard... A person listening in on their conversation would have figured that they lived around a local village named Bahasa, one of the few settlements in the kingdom of Karabala; that various strange tales were to be heard at the local tavern, of mysterious happenings occurring far from their homes; about the guards of the village and surrounding countryside, which were believed by most of the villagers to have magical powers; of great spells that were cast in epic battles, and others so insidious they could never be noticed... the whole gamut and range of childhood stories these four friends told each other.
[edit] The four have thoughts on magic
They were good friends, they all knew, and the four of them--Starlight, Andrew, Grace, and An--drifted through the eaves of time, the eves of nightfall. Before they knew how much time they had spent, night had returned to do battle with the tired day. They looked up, into the violet, pink, and silver sky, the copper clouds and the golden groves surrounding them. They fell silent. From the west blew the common westerlies, carrying with it the scent of mists which would rain the next day somewhere far away, somewhere they wanted to explore; the world was immense to these youngsters, and everything was possible; they wanted to strive for their destinies, and above their relaxed forms as they wasted their time away nestled on the ground, high above them, there the stars watched, twinkled at them, and beckoned.
"You know, Star," Grace began. "It would be nice to have some magic to play with, right now, when the parents aren't watching, and we're here just by ourselves. We could teach each other magic!"
"Great!" exclaimed Andrew. Then he and his hopes dimmed. "We don't have any such magic, though," he spoke out unwillingly. The others all calmed down.
Grace spoke next. "Isn't it strange, that there's so much magic, as the rumors say, but that we haven't encountered all that much magic ourselves?"
"Strange indeed," replied An, all to eagerly. "I really want to learn how to cast some powerful spells. It could be of much help when I get driven in a tight corner."
"I suppose so," Starlight agreed with them, still dreamy with the dimming night sky. "We've got our whole lives to find it, too. Or at least you all do. Maybe you'd all want to go explore the wide world someday, and bring me back some of that magic, will you?"
The others were silent in thought, thinking about the possibilities that magic could provide them. How much easier their world would suddenly become!
But that world seemed a lifetime away.
[edit] Ansuz
[edit] The Culling
[edit] Starlight admits to having troubles
Andrew abruptly sat up. "Star, was there something else you wanted to tell me?"
Starlight was confused. What had she said to him, or had tried to say to him? "I don't think so."
"No, I think you did want to tell me something. Didn't you? About your work and the village priestess?"
She remembered, and blushed. "Oh yes, I did..." It was no point keeping it a secret; it would become obvious knowledge a few years down the line of time anyway. She might as well tell them now, just in case they had some suggestions for her. She sighed. "I'm having trouble with my studies."
Andrew watched, obviously upset for this turn of events for his friend. "How come? Haven't you been studying this stuff for the last three years, and aced those tests?"
"I did'... but the fact remains, that I've started to hate the job I'm trying to get." Three years of hard work to get the position was beginning to catch up on her zeal for achieving that goal. "I don't like it at all. Even if I do get accepted, I won't want to become priestess. Besides, I probably won't be accepted. It isn't meant for me. But I can't back out now, or I will have wasted those three years--"
"But if what you've just said is true, then you've already wasted those three years. If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'd only waste more!"
[edit] Upsetting Starlight's emotional balance
Starlight shook her head. "But I can't displease my parents!" She looked down, despairing of a solution.
"You know, Star, you're going to anger them some day. Either they will find out that you don't know what you're doing, or you will fail the next exam."
He let the truth sink in. She turned around and faced him, longing for an answer she could accept: "What am I going to do?"
"I don't know! But I don't like having to watch you for four more years as you make no progress at all. Life isn't for wasting. You've got to enjoy it. There's no way you are going to enjoy what you've been doing so far, now or later."
"I would like to be something else for a change." But her voice quivered; she did not dare frustrate her parents, and she did believe in their promises of a joyful life as village priestess...
"You have to find a job you would like, or your life's going to be horrible," said Andrew, as the others listened intently. "They say that people who don't like the jobs they're given can always abandon society and go live with the rogue clans. Why not do likewise?"
"They scare me," she answered promptly, then turned away from him, brushing. Even though she was a girl, she still didn't want to appear weak to her friends. Then she added: "I don't want to go out alone. I don't even know where they are. I don't know if they're going to accept me. I don't even know if they exist for real!"
"Oh yes they do. My father told me so, even after I questioned him on their being real," declared Grace.
"Parents can say all sorts of things," Starlight retorted matter-of-factly.
[edit] The four plan to run away
"But Star, that doesn't change the situation. You can't keep on going the way you are, and there's no place you can run to for food and shelter without the adults noticing and telling your mom and dad. The only place you can go, if you are going to run away, is to one of those rogue clans." Andrew stated it as seriously as he could be, and Starlight took the point.
"So you're telling me to run away?"
Andrew looked at her half-incredulously, but it was An who noted, "I've run away countless times."
"Well, you're a boy." To Starlight, that seemed enough of an explanation. Boys could run around all they wanted, but girls were supposed to stay at home and follow the rules that society had set for them.
"So?" said An. "That doesn't change the fact that I did run away, and that you can too. I'm going to become a spellcaster, see? My parents look down on that kind of stuff, and want me to grow up just like them, a farmer. But do I? NO! And when I run away, I go into the forest. There's all kinds of queer happenings in there, and sometimes you get the most unusual inspirations. It's said that some spirit shards of Tyrael still reside there, waiting to be discovered. Who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky."
Starlight was baffled. Maybe her friends were right. Maybe she should run away with the rest of them, if only she could.
The others saw that she was wavering. An kept the momentum going. "There's so many things that you can do in this world, if only you would go explore them. This world is large, Star, and if you aren't good at something, try your hand at something else. There's bound to be something just right for you. I know it."
[edit] Andrew reveals some magic
"How can you be so sure?"
"I had the same problem, once. I hated being told that I was to be a farmer, because I didn't want to do all the hard work I saw my parents do. So one day I ran. I ran so far into the woods that I was afraid I was lost. But I didn't turn back. And that was when I realized that you could either stay where you are, or you could go somewhere else. And I found what I was looking for, something that clung to my soul. It's something I still hold with me, only I don't show it to others."
The others all came closer, and whispered, "what is it?"
An ignored the others for the moment. He held out his hand to a nearby paper-tree growing in the farm, and closed his eyes. He muttered some cant, made a clean slicing move with his outstretched hand, and became tense for a split second.
Then, with a fiery glow and a crackle, a branch split apart from the tree, and some hidden hand pulled it toward him. The others watched agape as the branch, its twigs, and their paper-leaves were sucked into the palm of An's open hand. It came to a stop just inside his palm with a gracefulness that could only be admired.
An looked at the amazed Starlight. Even though he was only thirteen, he appeared much more grown-up, much more forceful in what he had to say. "Star, when you see something that you want to strive for, you must go for it. It's the only way to live as a human being. Who knows? Maybe it just will succeed someday. Maybe you'll get lucky, and find the quest of your dreams."
He then plucked off a sheet of paper, a pristinely blank white leaf from the fallen branch. He held it up close for Starlight to see. "Your life is like this sheet of paper. It is completely empty, and lacking meaning. You can write something on it, and you have the quill of your spirits. But this is all the space you get to write on, the space on this leaf of paper--no more, and no less. What will you write on it, what will you do with your life?...
"The ancient sages have a word for this. It is Thurisaz, meaning obstacle, choice, and work."
