Chapter Six: Plans Come TogetherEdit
Ranko gaped at Aizen. "Lollipop?" she asked, shocked.
"What?" Aizen asked innocently. "Something wrong?"
The principal was only too happy to dump lollipop after lollipop into Aizen's lap. Aizen's eyes went wide with excitement.
"Now THIS, I can get used to!" Aizen smiled.
Ranko blinked. "What? Why?"
"Oh come on, don't tell me you've never heard of 'food of the gods'?"
Ranko blinked. "Wasn't that... ambrosia or something?"
"Who? Where did you get THAT from?" Aizen asked.
Nabiki, Tatewaki and Ryouga just stared at the amount of lollipops dropping into Aizen's hands. They were beginning to pile at her feet.
"You know," Ryouga began, "You'd better not let Ms. Hinako get a whiff of that, she might--"
"I SMELL LOLLIPOPS!"
Kuno scoffed. "Me thinks you may be a bit too late, Hibiki. How her senses have picked them up I know not, but it amazes me little."
"Dere we go Wahine! You be gettin' da full princeepal welcome, you betcha!" the principal said, gleefully.
Hinako dived head first into the pile at Aizen's feet.
Ranko shook her head sadly. "I think we should get to class."
Hinako surfaced for some air momentarily. "Yes. I think that might be a good idea," she said. Then she returned to rummaging through the pile.
"You heard da teacher, Keiki and Wahine! Time to be goan' to da classes now!"
Ranko grabbed Aizen's dress by the hem of the skirt, and yanked her over towards her. "I've got to talk to you."
Nabiki smirked. "You guys go and have your little girl to girl chat. Remember, Ranko. I've got to talk to you after school. Come on, Kuno-baby."
"Nay, I shall stay here with my god--urk!" Kuno said as he was pulled away by the collar by an impatient Nabiki.
Principal Kuno wandered off towards his office, and Hinako ran back to class with an armful of lollipops.
Ranko stared at the only one who hadn't left yet.
"Waiting for something, Ryouga?"
Ryouga blinked. "She said... she was straight."
Ranko shook her head. "Class is that way," she said, pointing towards the nearest exit.
Ryouga nodded and responded in turn by heading the opposite direction. Which happened to be right into class.
Alone, Ranko let go of Aizen's skirt. "What are you doing?"
Aizen took the lollipop out of her mouth for a moment. "What's it look like?"
"Not that, you idiot. The lesbian thing!"
Aizen shrugged. "It got them off of my back, didn't it."
"Well, as for Kuno, you've probably fed his sick fantasies, and he'll be after you even more."
"But I said I was--"
"What's every perverts fantasy?"
"Umm. To fly?"
Ranko shook her head. "Try again."
"Ummm. To uhhh... fly?"
"No, you idiot! To sleep with two or more girls at once!"
"But, that's my... ummm... my... worst nightmare... yeah, that'll work!"
Ranko shook her head. "Whatever. The point is, Kuno's gonna keep at you. Who knows about Ryouga, this one is so different from the one at home it's unreal."
"Yeah, I think this one has more... confidence or something."
"Look, besides that... What was I sent here for?"
Ranko narrowed her eyes. "Try again."
"It's not? Are you sure? This IS a school, after--"
"NOT TO THE SCHOOL! TO THIS WORLD!"
Aizen started. "Not so loud."
"Why not? You're the one who was talking about 'food of the gods' earlier."
"Yeah, but making them believe I'm a god is easier than making them believe you're from another world."
Ranko shook her head. "Whatever. The point is, you sent me here to complete a task. I don't get a ticket home unless that task is completed, right?"
Aizen nodded. "Yea--.. Say, that gives me an idea!"
"Some of my magic is still surrounding you. It will surround you until the task is completed. When it's done, you'll be sent home and the magic will return to me! It might just be enough to get my godhood back!"
Ranko blinked. "What?"
Aizen smirked. "If you get them together, that means I can become a god again! I don't have to wait until the hearing!"
Ranko scoffed. "So you'll help me, then?"
Aizen nodded furiously.
"Good. Then here's the plan--"
Aizen is a lesbian, and Ranko is a lesbian.
Nabiki sighed. It was getting more confusing by the minute. She knew Ranko was somehow mixed up with that Takao character, but she couldn't for the life of her find a plausible link.
Takao, who claims to be Ranma Saotome, except from an alternate universe.
"Jeez Nabiki, THAT sounds sane," she scolded herself.
Unless Ranko and Takao are two people who have never met each other. It could have just been chance.
Ranko may have been looking for Saotome for... Nabiki wasn't sure... Money reasons?
No. not money reasons, Nabiki thought. Otherwise she wouldn't have had need to enroll into the school.
And she's lesbian, she knows Aizen. Aizen was staying at Nabiki's place. Takao was at her place last night.
Nabiki rubbed her head as it started to throb.
The old man left last night and, as far as Nabiki knew, hadn't come back.
So was that Aizen's doing?
No. Impossible. Her grandfather had paid her money yesterday afternoon. She remembered because she had to... skip class?
Nabiki blinked in confusion.
Waitasec. She never had to skip class. There was that once for five minutes when she was talking with Ranko, but... she never skipped!
But when did she meet Aizen's grandfather in... Los Angeles?
That can't be right.
But Nabiki remembered. She remembered the California license plates. The window looking outward on Venice beach...
Nabiki had never even been out of the COUNTRY!
She could even remember asking for her fee. In plain English.
She blinked again. She wasn't THAT good at English.
Could it have been a dream?
But then why would Aizen be here? She'd be just another part of the dream.
And the money. She had the money. Nabiki made sure of it that morning.
Five hundred thousand yen.
The money was there.
But... Los Angeles? Something's not right here.
"Okay, are you clear?" Ranko asked.
Aizen checked her body over. "No, I'm... kinda beige."
Ranko narrowed her eyes. "I mean... DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
"Oh, right. Sure, boss." She saluted Ranko.
Great. The last thing she needed was a two-bit mortal god calling her 'boss'.
"Lunch is in twenty minutes. I'll meet you at the soccer field."
Aizen saluted again, and let Ranko go her own way.
Why didn't she think of it before? Aizen scolded herself. It was so simple! All she had to do was help Saotome with her task, and the magic surrounding Saotome would return to her!
Which meant, that it may just be enough to ascend her to god-hood! How perfect is that?!
Aizen walked confidently down the hallway back towards her class. The number of staring students increasing with every footstep.
Oh great. Why did she have to get into a body like that in the first place?
"One ticket to Xining, please." Happosai smiled as he put the money on the table.
The man in the ticket booth nodded and passed Happosai a ticket. "One to Xining."
"When does the train board?"
Happosai narrowed his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"
The ticket seller shrugged. "You never asked."
"Can I have a refund, please?" Happosai asked.
The ticket seller simply pointed his thumbs towards a sign to his left. 'No refunds.'
Happosai narrowed his eyes. This was going to be fun.
Clapping his hands together, Happosai walked out of the ticket booth, catching odd glances from several people, he decided to make the most of it.
"COME ONE!" he called, "COME ALL! COME SEE THE AMAZING MR. PRETZEL! SEE HIM BECOME ONE WITH BODY PARTS HE NEVER EVEN KNEW HE HAD!"
People started to crowd around the ticket booth. Happosai smirked, groped as many women as he could find, and picked a few pockets.
All in all, it was a good day... Now to get to Xining.
The bell rang with little fury. The students, however, were full of fury as they stampeded out of the school halls and into the field.
Ranko had chosen to tag along with Yuka, Sayuri and Akane. She was too distracted to notice the behaviour that the three of them were showing. Yuka and Sayuri were mainly talking to each other and giggling uncontrollably, but Akane seemed to be hesitant.
"So, you know Nabiki?" Akane asked, trying to make conversation.
Ranko nodded. "Yeah. I... met her a couple times."
Akane's eyes went wide. "You mean... you and Nabiki are... that way?"
Ranko blinked. "What way?"
"Umm. Your way."
Ranko turned around and saw Nabiki on the other side of the soccer field. Well, she _WAS_ in her direction. "Yeah," she answered.
Akane's jaw dropped. "What? My own SISTER? And she never told me?!"
Ranko blinked again. "Told you what?"
"That she was... that way."
Ranko pointed over her shoulder. "Come on, don't tell me you can't see her."
Akane squinted her eyes in the hot sun. "Well, I guess she is kind of visible... that way. But... I had no idea."
Yuka stopped giggling for a moment. "Waitasec. Nabiki's that way too?"
Akane shrugged. "I... I guess so."
"So, that mean Aizen, Ranko AND Nabiki are that way?"
Ranko blinked. She turned around again. Sure enough, there was Aizen, being followed by a very persistent Tatewaki Kuno. What IS it with these people and directions?
She turned back around to face them. "Yeah, Kuno's that way too."
Sayuri's jaw dropped this time. "K... Kuno?!"
It was Akane's turn to be shocked. "If he's... that way... then why is he bothering me every morning?"
Ranko blinked. Why should where Kuno is have any bearing on that?
"Anyone else?" Yuka asked, desperate for more gossip.
She turned around and saw Ryouga standing near the doorway. He wasn't quite in the same direction, but close enough.
"Ryouga's kinda that way. He's more on the side, though."
Yuka coughed. "Ryouga... HIBIKI?!"
Ranko nodded. "Yeah."
"So then he swings both ways?"
Ranko blinked. "Huh?"
Sayuri spoke up. "Let us get this straight. Nabiki, Aizen, Kuno, Ryouga and yourself are gay?"
Ranko blinked. "We're.... WHAT?!?!"
"Look you, just keep following me, and you'll get what's coming to you!" Aizen warned.
"Ahh, so my Goddess doth enjoy my presence?" Kuno replied.
Aizen blinked in confusion. "When did I say that?"
"You asked me to continue following you."
"That's NOT what I meant. You ever heard of sarcasm?!"
"Sarcasm is but a fool's language. My Goddess will never use it."
"You know, this goddess thing is getting extremely insulting. Do I look like a--... Oh wait, I guess I do."
"Ahh, my Goddess doth not protest my love! 'Tis a glorious day indeed."
Aizen shrugged. "Yeah, whatever. Look, Kuno. I don't have a lot of time for this. I've got work to do, and you're kinda getting in the way."
"Ahh! But I shall help my god---"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"
"But, my Goddess! I must!"
"Kuno, I will hurt you."
"Pain from a Goddess such as you would be a pleasure!"
"What the HELL are you talking about?!"
Sayuri blinked. "You said it yourself. You said they were all 'that way'."
Ranko palmed herself in the forehead. "I thought you were talking about the direction!"
Akane blinked. "Direction? Why on earth would you think that?"
"Because... I dunno, I just did!"
"So then, you're not gay?"
Akane sighed. "That's a relief."
"I wouldn't touch a guy if my life depended on it!"
"Hey, Ryouga," Ranma called. "What's up."
Ryouga turned around for a moment. "Oh, hey Ranma. Did you uhh... hear?"
"You mean 'I'm a lesbian, dammit'?"
"What was the deal with that?"
"I dunno. The funny thing is she told me she was straight a bit earlier. I think she said that just to get Kuno off of her back."
Ranma looked at the mindless violence being bestowed upon the elder Kuno and sighed. "Looks like it had the opposite effect."
Ryouga shrugged. "She's pretty strong. Not a whole lotta skill, maybe a bit clumsy even, but she's damn strong."
Ranma smirked. "Ryouga, did you make a pass at her?"
"Not much of one. I don't think she got the real hint. I was about to ask her out when the witless wonder over there showed up."
Ranma shook his head. "Too bad."
"But I will. Today."
Ranma shrugged. "So, what about the bet?"
Ryouga looked towards Ranma. "The.. bet? D'oh!"
Ranma smirked. "You wanna call it off?"
Ryouga shook his head. "No way. We made this bet, and I'll stick to it." Ryouga smirked as he added, "And I'll still win, too."
Ranma shook his head. "It's a FIGURE OF SPEECH you directionally challenged moron!"
Ryouga blinked. "What do you mean, then?"
Ranma's jaw dropped. "You don't remember?"
Ranma shook his head. "When you got back to class. Yuka and Sayuri were spreading it around like wildfire!"
Ryouga blinked again. "Spreading WHAT around?"
"About Ranko, you dope!"
"What ABOUT her?!"
"The fact that she's gay? Does that strike up any memories?"
"I thought that was Aizen."
"No, it's Ranko too."
Ryouga blinked. "Too? Are you saying Aizen's really gay?"
Ranma shook his head. "Whatever, Ryouga. I you wanna call the bet off, I'll be over here. The whole thing's stupid, anyway."
Ranma walked off towards Hiroshi and Daisuke swiftly, and Ryouga was left in his omnipresent state of perpetual confusion.
"Not a lesbian?" Yuka whispered. "I could have sworn it was her we heard in the principals office."
Sayuri nodded. "I know. I'm positive it was. Do you think...?"
Yuka's eyes popped wide open. "She's trying to..."
Sayuri nodded. "Get into Akane's pants? Probably."
Yuka smirked. "Do you think we should tell her?"
Sayuri laughed. "No. This might just be worth watching."
"What did you mean by that?" Akane asked, her eyebrow raised.
Ranko blinked. Damn. A slip of the tongue. "Sorry... It was one of them... feudalism slips or something. I was thinking about... a guy..."
Akane nodded and then blushed. "Yeah. I... I know."
Ranko smirked. "Ahh, I see that! You got something for someone, eh?"
Yuka and Sayuri all of a sudden leapt into the conversation.
"What? Akane? Are you serious?" Yuka asked.
"A guy? Who is it? Whowhowhowho?!" Sayuri continued.
Akane shook her head. "Nothing. Nobody." Her blush grew.
Ranko smirked. Might be a bit easier than she thought. The plan would start coming together soon.
"Come on Akane, spill it!" Yuka asked.
Akane shook her head. "It's... it's nothing. I only met him once. I guess it's kinda... weird. He's a pervert boy, but... He's different somehow."
Ranko smiled again.
"Who is it, Akane?! Come on, tell us!"
Akane blushed more. "You don't know him."
Sayuri pouted. "Well, what does he look like?"
Akane sighed. "If I tell you this, will you drop the subject?"
Sayuri nodded. "Come on, just tell us!"
"Well, he's pretty tall. He's at least a head taller than I am. He's well built, and he's cute the cutest pig- tail. Kinda like Ranko's."
Ranko blinked. This may be easier that she thought. She already liked Ranma!
"What's his name?" Sayuri asked. "Maybe one of us know him."
Ranko blinked. She said... they didn't know him... oh no.
Ranko fell over backwards.
"Hey, Ryouga," Aizen greeted.
Ryouga looked up for a moment, and then immediately tensed up.
"Uhh... Uhhh... Hi there, Aizen..." he stammered. "You... uhh, lost Kuno?"
Aizen nodded. "Yeah, for the time being. I don't know when that guy will come back, so I'll make this short and sweet."
Ryouga blinked. "Aizen, I've got something to--"
"Not now, Hibiki. I need you and Saotome to meet me at the shop on the corner after school. Right after school."
Ryouga's eyes went wide. She asked HIM out.
"Well, you gonna answer or just stand there and gawk?"
Ryouga cleared his head of all relevant noise for a moment. "Oh, sure! Yeah, of course!"
Aizen nodded. "Good. Remember. RIGHT after school, you and Ranma."
Ryouga nodded. "No problem."
Aizen smiled, and then turned away. She got all of four feet until she heard the call.
"Oh, my divine Goddess! I have found you at last!"
Needless to say, Kuno was only conscious for a few more seconds.
Happy! Joy! Glee!
Ryouga skipped merrily across the school yard. His heart pounding with excitement! She asked him out! She wanted to meet HIM after school!
Catching several strange glances from the other students in the yard, he continued on his merry way. He could still remember her exact words.
'I need you and Saotome to meet me at the--'
Ryouga stopped skipping merrily.
Saotome? She wanted to meet with Ranma, too?
Ryouga may have been a lot of things, but he wasn't... THAT way.
Still, she may just want him there because... a double date! Yeah! That must have been it! Ryouga continued his gleeful trot and began to hunt down his friend.
"Ranko? Do you know him?" Akane asked. "Oh, that's right. You have the same last names."
Ranko blinked. "Uhh... yeah. I... umm... know him."
Akane blushed a bit more. "You, ahh... won't tell him what I just said, will you? I'd... umm... rather not have him know."
Ranko shook her head. "Don't worry. I won't repeat a single word of it to him."
Ranko's attention was suddenly drawn to a nearby statue. Aizen was on top of it, giving a thumbs up to Ranko.
Perfect. Phase one completed. Time for phase two.
"Hey, you guys?" Ranko asked.
"Yeah?" Akane asked.
"Would you guys like to go to the shop on the corner after school? My treat."
Yuka and Sayuri looked at each other in confusion. They blinked and tried to suppress a smile.
"Thanks, Ranko... I, uhh.. gotta do something after school," Yuka announced.
Sayuri followed her lead. "Yeah, I uhh... have to... wash my... poodle."
Ranko raised a question eyebrow. "I'd rather not know what you do with your--- oh, you mean your dog?"
Akane smiled, trying to suppress a laugh. "Sure, I'll come with you."
Yuka and Sayuri tried even harder to keep from laughing.
Akane blinked. "What'd I say?"
"So, what's the deal? You get her to come?" the first voice said.
Yuka immediately perked up. That sounded like Aizen.
"Yeah. She'll be coming after school."
Yuka held her breath. That had to be Ranko.
"What about on your side? You get the gimps to come?"
Yuka almost lost her breath. Gimps? What were they planning to DO to Akane?
"Yeah, they'll be there. I swear, Hibiki's head is SO thick."
This time, Yuka couldn't keep from gasping. Why did she have to pick NOW to go to the bathroom?
"You having fun with Kuno?"
Yuka thanked every god she could think of. She wasn't heard.
"Oh, loads. He's on my tail every five seconds."
Yuka tried her best not to explode. She had to do something before they found her.
"Why doncha just blow him off? That might work."
Yuka choked on her own breath. Thankfully, it wasn't too loud.
"Easier said than done. His head's pretty thick, too."
There was a silence for a moment. "What was that?" Aizen asked.
"Hey, Yuka. Izzat you?"
Yuka blinked. How did she know?! She only coughed. Ranko didn't know her THAT well!
No. This wasn't good. If they caught her, they'd force HER into whatever sick plans they had for Akane. She had to do something.
A knock came to her stall.
"Yuka, I know you're in there." Ranko sighed. "Damn. We shoulda made sure the place was empty, Aizen."
"Well, what do we do with her then, Saotome?"
Yuka blinked. Saotome?
"Oh, great. Use my REAL name, why doncha?"
Yuka blinked again. Saotome?
"Sorry, Saotome. Well, what's done is done. Should we kill her?"
Yuka swallowed. Kill her? She HAD to get out of there.
"Are you crazy?" Ranko yelled.
Yuka paused. Was Ranko on her side? No. She couldn't have been. What was going ON?!
"Why not? It's what we did back home."
Where did she live? The Manson home? Yuka shook her head. She HAD to get out of there somehow.
"This isn't the Kami Realm, Aizen."
Yuka stopped shivering all of a sudden. The Kami Realm? They weren't murderers. They were psychopaths.
"Yuka, come out. We're not going to hurt you."
Yeah right. Like Yuka hadn't heard THAT one before.
Strangely enough, she hadn't.
Ranko nodded. "Yeah, I promise."
"You aren't going to do any kinky sex things to me?"
A pause. "WHAT?"
"Well, are you?!"
"No, of course not!"
Yuka felt relieved. And somewhat... disappointed. There was still the factor that Ranko could be lying.
"All right. I'm coming out. But any funny stuff and I'll scream!"
Yuka slowly opened the stall door. She saw the two looming figures of Ranko and Aizen standing there.
"Okay, I suppose an explanation is in order."
Yuka slid her way against the wall. "No, it's all right. No explanation needed. I know what's going on here."
Aizen smiled. "You do? Hey, that saves us an explanation!"
Ranko shook her head. "Do you think she could have just guessed it?"
Aizen pouted. "Fine, I guess not."
Ranko stepped towards Yuka. "Look, the thing here is--"
"You two are crazy lesbians trying to get Ryouga, Kuno and Akane into some weird orgy. Not to worry, I COMPLETELY understand."
Aizen smirked. "Hey, she DOES understand!"
Ranko shook her head. "Quiet, you!" She looked towards Yuka. "Look, this is going to take some explaining, and I need you to keep an open mind."
Yuka shook her head. "Hey now, I don't go that way, Ranko."
Ranko blinked. "Oh, will you quit it with the gay thing?!"
Yuka narrowed her eyes. "Why? It's completely obvious. You said it to the principal. Aizen basically said it to the whole school."
Ranko sighed. "Look you want the truth?"
"Quiet, you. I'm trying to explain."
Yuka blinked. "Why does she keep calling you that?"
"I'll tell you the truth. She calls me that because it's my name. And I am attracted to girls, but I am in NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM, gay."
Yuka blinked. "You're... contradicting yourself."
"Aizen, hot water, please."
Yuka blinked. "Hot water? What... what are you planning to do with me?"
"Nothing, it's for me."
Aizen sighed. "Saotome, are you sure that's wise?"
"Just splash me, dammit."
Yuka blinked. "What---"
Aizen wasted no time in reaching the water tap, turning the hot water on and splashing Ranko.
Yuka's went wide with fear as Ranko grew at least a head taller, with broader muscles.
Unfortunately, his voice went an octave higher and he stumbled over.
"I was trying to warn you, Saotome. You're still in the dress."
"Cold water! Gimme cold water, dammit!"
Aizen splashed him again, and he became a she.
"You're... you're a guy?" Yuka asked, amazed.
"Yeah, you see now?"
"So, you're not lesbian. You're just a pervert! I understand now!"
Yuka smiled. "It's all so clear now. You want to ravish Akane, right? Right? I'm right, aren't I?"
"Not THIS one!"
So did Aizen. "What?"
Ranko blinked too. "Uhh, that didn't come out right. Listen, Yuka... Are you gonna let me explain? Doesn't it seem weird that I know the names of everyone in the class on the first day? How I know Kuno and Nabiki and wasn't at all surprised by Miss Hinako's... form?"
Yuka blinked. She was right. The last new student that found out about Miss Hinako's form changing abilities was nearly lobotomized.
"Look, Yuka. Give me five minutes. I'll explain everything."
Yuka sighed. "No kinky sex stuff?" She asked as her mind wandered to forbidden places.
Ranko shook her head. "No."
Once again, Yuka felt a small bit of disappointment. But she stayed put and listened to the story anyway.