Chapter Four: Gods Among UsEdit
"Not good," she said to herself. "Definitely not good."
Aizen Myoo felt around frantically for the dimensional door. So far, there was no luck.
"Where the hell is the door?!" she shouted.
She felt around a bit more, then tried to frantically plunge her key into a magical door that just wasn't there.
About an hour later, she gave up.
"Damn it!" she yelled. Now what was she going to do? She had no way to get back because she had lost the door, and worse yet, she was in human form. Even worse, human FEMALE form.
Great. Now she knew how Ranma felt. Except hers was a bit more permanent, and she didn't have the perks of her usual form.
She leaned against the wall and sighed. She needed help... She needed a plan... She needed... Wait... That's it!
"Izanagi!" she cried. Why didn't she think of this before? Izanagi would help out, after all, he did authorize her judgement upon Saotome. Sure, this would be a breeze.
If he showed up.
"Izanagi! Hey old man, come on! Help me out here!"
"Hey, you wanna keep it down?" a voice called from behind.
Aizen Myoo turned around. Before her stood a man wearing plaid golf pants, a striped shirt with a cardigan overtop, and a plaid beret.
"Iza...nagi?" she asked.
"You called, what do you want? I was in the middle of a game with Odin... he's up two par!"
Aizen Myoo shook her head. "I... I misplaced my door, I can't get back. Can you give me a lift?"
"You didn't misplace the bloody door, boy. A couple kitsune got in there."
"Kitsune?" She cried. "It was Kire and Masa, wasn't it?"
"I'm not at liberty to say."
Aizen Myoo continued to shake her head. "Look, can you give me a lift back?"
"Great, thanks a lot! I owe you one..."
"Right before your trial starts."
"I... TRIAL? For what?"
"Well, apparently Anuket has filed a sexual harassment suit against you."
"Sexual harassment?! Are you serious? She tried to bite my--"
"I won't hear this now, Aizen. Wait until the hearing."
"Well, when's the hearing?"
"About two weeks. Pending on the result, I'll be able to take you back into the Kami realm."
Aizen Myoo sputtered. "You mean I can't go back?"
Izanagi shook his head. "Sorry, boy. Law says you must cease and desist any godly powers until the hearing is over."
"Well, just take me back, I promise I won't--"
"Remember the Apollo vs. Amaterasu fight?"
Aizen Myoo blinked. "Yeah."
"Remember what both parties said to each other?"
"Yeah, that they wouldn't use their powers against one another."
"Well, remember what happened?"
"The sun blanked out for a few years. So?"
"Half of mankind were killed, Aizen! You know what it's like to freeze to death? Mortals do! We had to make up that whole 'locked in a cave' story to save face! If we told the mortals Apollo and Amaterasu were fighting like cats and dogs, the Kami would never live it down!"
Aizen Myoo shook his head. "Fine, but will you just let me change back into a--"
"Sorry boy, as I said. No godly powers."
"Well, can you change me--"
"Can't do that either. Against KCB Regulations. Section 4.32 Paragraph 2, Subsection 4. No kami, living or dead, may assist a kami who is awaiting a hearing, by using their powers to help them to an advantage in any way or form."
"Screw KCB! Nobody follows those rules!"
Izanagi sighed. "I know, but I've got the muses on my tail."
Aizen Myoo blinked. "The muses?"
"Yeah. Bloody paparazzi," he muttered. "Anyway, I've got to head back to the game..."
"Wait!" Aizen Myoo cried. "What am I supposed to do here?"
Izanagi shrugged. "Whatever you want. Have fun, I'll come get you in two weeks."
"But I've got nowhere to stay! Nothing to do! How will I eat? Mortals need to eat to survive!"
Izanagi shrugged. "All right, listen. I'll help you out this much, but if the muses ask, it wasn't me, got it?"
Izanagi snapped his fingers. "Done!"
"You are now enrolled in Furinkan High School. Class 1-F, show up first thing in the morning. As for a place to sleep, theres a guest room on the bottom floor of the Tendo Dojo."
"Guest room? But what about the people--"
"Look, the only one of importance has been taken care of. She shouldn't even bat an eye at you in the morning."
"Sure, just go and sleep, then get ready for school in the morning."
Aizen Myoo sighed. "Two weeks is all?"
"And after that I can return?"
"Provided the outcome of the hearing is in your favour."
"Fine. But if I die, I want to be resurrected post haste!"
"All right, but you'll be deposited right back here on earth."
"By the way, what's with this timeline? I authorized you to pass judgement on that Saotome chap, but I don't remember anything about authorizing a timeline flux."
"Uhh... Izanami said I could!"
Izanagi cringed at the sound of the name. "Blasted ex. She's already collecting enough on child support, but now she goes over my head? Damn good thing she's in the Yomi realm, otherwise I'd--"
"Oh right. Anyhow, I've got to get back to my game. Odin has probably played through. Oh well, talk to you in two weeks."
A moment later, Izanagi disappeared.
Aizen Myoo sighed, and then turned towards the Tendo Dojo.
The inside, Aizen found, was not what she had expected. When Izanagi had said things would be arranged, she expected arranged to the liking of a god.
This, however, was not to the liking of a god.
A futon, a dresser in the corner complete with a vanity mirror and arrangement of clothing, and several posters consistent with school aged girls in Japan. Idol singers and anime.
Aizen Myoo was not impressed. Where was the bed with posts of gold? The multi-million dollar karaoke equipment and personal servant?
"This sucks," she said to herself.
She took another glanced around to room before sitting on her futon. "Not even a TV... What am I supposed to do all night?"
"Sleeping would be an idea," a voice called from the entrance to the bedroom. Aizen Myoo turned around quickly and tensed up.
She recognized the girl at the doorway. She was one of the girls that lived in the house. Not Ranma's fiancee, but another. The middle daughter. What WAS her name?
"Sorry, girl," she laughed, "I just heard you walking around down here and thought I'd come and see what was going on."
Aizen Myoo nodded. "I.. uhh... I was just getting ready for bed..."
The girl shook her head. "No need to explain it to me, Aizen. You've more than paid your way. Why you had to do it in the middle of the night, however, is beyond me."
"Name's Nabiki. Your father came and talked to me earlier today. I had expected you earlier," Nabiki trailed off. She looked deep in thought for a moment. "Actually, no. I'm lying. I didn't expect you earlier for some reason, but you're here now, so that's all that there is to worry about."
Aizen nodded. "You know my name?"
"Sure. Aizen Kamibaka. Strange last name, I've gotta say. 'Idiot god'?"
Aizen narrowed her eyes. "Thanks."
Nabiki took a quick look around the room before speaking again. "You sure moved your things in here quietly. I don't even think my dad or sister would have heard you, and I was awake for the past half hour."
"Oh sure, the old man was yelling something or other earlier. Woke me up, but that doesn't matter. I'll let you go to sleep now. I'll talk to you in the morning, Aizen." Nabiki waved, and then walked out the door to leave Aizen 'Kamibaka' alone with her thoughts.
And her thoughts, to say the least, were not pleasant.
She knew what happened. Izanagi had placed a memory into Nabiki's mind. Probably even placed a fair amount of money into her back account. She couldn't remember that much about Nabiki, but she knew that money was what make her tick.
After yawning, Aizen came to a horrible realization.
She would have to sleep.
Gods, she hated being a mortal.
"Baa?" Anuket asked.
"No, he won't be coming back for a while," Izanagi replied. "At least two weeks."
"Don't worry, after the hearing, we'll think of some other way to keep him there. I despise him as much, if not more that you, Anuket. I thought this Saotome chap would beat the living daylights out of him, but he took the peaceful route. Either Aizen Myoo is too smart for his own good, or too dumb."
"That's what I thought. Smart obviously isn't the right word for him."
"Yes, well I'll see you at the hearing, Anuket. I'll see what I can do about the jury."
"No, I don't have time to sing a song."
"Baa?" Anuket asked, fluttering her eyelids.
Izanagi sighed. "Fine then. Only one verse, though."
"Ranma, dear. Time to wake up," Nodoka said softly as she knocked on Ranma's bedroom door.
"Ssfo sfrweeyt Lrawncko," he replied into his pillow. "Nawt ggo tuhoo sckoewl tuhdaiy..."
"Get up, Boy," Genma said as he passed by the room.
"I'm up!" he exclaimed as he shot up from his pillow.
"Genma, dear. Would you go and wake Ranko up? I'll have breakfast ready in a moment."
Genma yawned as he nodded, and then trudged off to the guest room.
He knocked on the door. "Ranko?" he asked.
He tried again. "Ranko?" he asked again, still no reply.
Sighing, he opened the door a little notch and slowly peeked his head in, ready to pull it out just in case.
Ranko was decent, but still asleep. "Ranko?" he asked, this time a little quieter than the moment before.
She twitched a little, and then rolled over on her futon.
Genma stepped further into the room and spoke again. "Hello? Ranko!"
Genma sighed. That child was even more of a sleeper than his own lazy son. He stepped closer to her and knelt down.
"Ranko?" he asked as he gripped her shoulder and shook it a little.
It wasn't long before he realized his mistake and was planted into the wall upside down. But it took a moment longer to realize exactly what happened, which was about three moments after Ranko had apologized and explained it.
Apparently, Genma found out the hard way, that you never touch a sleeping Ranko, unless you want to lose teeth. He had grabbed her shoulder while she lay down, and her reflex was to grab the arm of whoever had touched her shoulder, and fling them across the room.
Genma was on the ground again before he could speak.
"Where did you learn that?" he asked Ranko dazedly.
"I uhh... my dad took me on a training trip. A really long one, and he taught me all he knew."
Genma nodded. "Somehow, I don't find that hard to believe. The old Master must have taught his son well."
Ranko blinked. "I uhh... guess you could say that."
Genma shook his head. "Anyhow, my wife has made breakfast for us, we should go out, and then you and Ranma should get ready for school."
Ranko blinked, and then nodded.
"Oh my," Kasumi exclaimed.
"Who is she, Akane?" Soun cried, looking into the room.
"Or better yet, how did she moved her furniture in without us noticing?" Kasumi asked again.
Akane cracked her knuckles. "She's an uninvited guest."
"On the contrary, sis," Nabiki interrupted. "She's a paid guest. She's paying room and board, so there's nothing to worry about."
"Nabiki? What is the meaning of this?" Soun asked. "Why didn't you at least tell me?"
Nabiki shrugged. "You never asked."
After a moment of blinking, Soun shrugged. "I suppose you're right."
"Does this mean we'll be having one more place to set at the table?" Kasumi asked.
"Does she know any martial arts?" Akane added.
"Yes, and I don't know. Look, she should wake up in a moment, why don't you ask her then?"
"You guys wanna keep it down? I'm just getting used to this sleep thing," the sleeping girl called from the room.
Akane could only blink.
"So, Aizen. Where are you from?" Soun asked, trying to make conversation at the breakfast table.
"Oh, uh... Here and there, really. I've been living in the uhh... *cough*kamirealm*cough* for most of my life," she replied.
"Gesundheit," Kasumi remarked.
"Kamireyun? Isn't that near Okinawa?" Akane asked, unsure of her geography.
"Yeah, I think so," Aizen replied.
"So you'll be going to Furinkan, then?"
"Yeah, class 1-F."
Akane blinked. "That's my class. Are you the new student?"
"No, there's another student I think," Aizen replied.
Nabiki nodded. "Yeah. That class is getting pretty clouded. Is Hinako going to be able to take it?"
"Oh dear, I hope so. She never called me to let me know how her date with Yoshi went!"
"I'm sure it went fine, sis," Nabiki rolled her eyes. "If Yoshi got out of line, Hinako will put him back in line."
"Which reminds me, Kasumi," Soun spoke up. "Why did she stop by yesterday?"
"I think she needed another treatment from Master Happosai. She said she was feeling lightheaded."
Akane scoffed. "Treatment, yeah right. Like the old lecher could actually do her some good. I swear, the reason she's always coming around is because that old lecher can cop a feel."
"Akane, dear. Master Lecher-- err. Master Happosai is only trying to help her out," Kasumi interrupted. "He's is always a gentleman around her, and asks for my help."
Aizen could only stare, and fill her face with breakfast as the family bickered over the old lecher. Aizen briefly let her mind wander when she was interrupted yet again.
"So, do you have a uniform ready, Aizen?" Akane asked.
Aizen blinked. "Uniform?"
"You don't have a uniform, do you?"
"No... do I need one?"
Akane shook her head.
"I think I may be able to help," Kasumi smiled. "I have an old Furinkan uniform. Would you like to borrow it?"
Aizen stammered. "I... I... uniform?"
"Sure, you don't expect to go in THAT, do you?" Akane asked.
Aizen looked down at her dress. She was still wearing the white dress that revealed her legs and cleavage quite effectively.
"What's wrong with this?" She asked.
"Well, Ranko, dear. What's wrong with it is it's not part of the Furinkan dress code," Nodoka replied.
"I wore this to my old school. Theres nothing wrong with it," Ranko shot back. "Besides, I don't have a uniform."
"That can be remedied very quickly, dear," Nodoka smiled. "I'll allow you to wear one of mine. It should fit you quite nicely."
Ranko blinked. She didn't want to KNOW why her mother had school girls uniform. After noticing a subtle smirk arise from Genma, she was CERTAIN she didn't want to know.
"That's uh... all right, don't worry about it. I'll pick one up when I'm there today."
Nodoka shook her head. "They may not even allow you upon the school grounds, dear."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take," Ranko said defiantly.
Nodoka sighed. Then she smirked.
"I can't believe I'm wearing this," Aizen complained.
"What's wrong? Never worn a uniform before?" Akane asked.
"It's not that. It's just the skirt. I'll never get used to this."
"What do you mean? You act like you don't wear skirts or something," Nabiki mentioned.
"I don't," Aizen deadpanned.
Akane blinked again. "Then what were you wearing last night?"
"That was a... uhh... special occasion."
"Hey, how far is this school anyway?" Aizen asked.
"It's about three blocks down, then we hang a right, then--"
"I know how to get to Furinkan, thank you," Ranko said through her teeth.
"What's the matter? You're a girl, right? You should have no problem wearing a dress," Ranma asked.
Ranko winced at the use of the word 'girl' and 'dress'. She glared at Ranma and then replied, "You will not address me as a girl, nor will you bring up the dress, understood?"
Ranma backed down immediately. "Understood," he said quietly.
"That's better," she replied.
A few moments of silence passed before Ranma stopped dead in his tracks. Ranko turned back and looked at him.
"What's the matter?"
He could only point. Ranko followed his finger to several meters away, on the other side of the street. Three girls walked up the sidewalk.
Ranko could recognize two of them.
"Akane? Why'd you stop for her?" Ranko asked. Could it be that her work would be easily done? Did Ranma already have feelings for her?
The words escaped Ranma's mouth slowly, but each word was said with ferocity and fear. "D... Devil mercenary..." he stammered.
Ranko narrowed her eyes, unamused. "Nabiki?"
Ranma simply nodded.
"Bless you," Aizen said.
"Thanks," Nabiki replied after rubbing her nose. It wasn't like her to sneeze so suddenly. Oh well, nothing to worry about.
"So the school isn't too far from here, then?"
"Nope, we'll be there in five minute," Akane announced.
"So, what's school like, anyway?" Aizen asked.
Nabiki stopped. "What do you mean? Haven't you ever been to school?"
Aizen shook her head.
"You're joking, right?"
"Why would I do that?"
Nabiki rolled her eyes and shook her head. In doing so, she noticed something from behind them.
She noticed Ranko Satohara, and smiled. "Well, if it isn't Ms. Ranko Satohara herself."
Aizen blinked in confusion. "Who?"
Nabiki pointed back. "Her, that girl next to Ranma Saotome."
"RANMA!?" Aizen yelled, excitedly. She turned around and zeroed in on one of the approaching figures. It took her all of three seconds to cross the distance between them.
"HEY!" Ranma yelled as he was thrown of balance by someone. Someone in a dress. Someone with flowing black hair. Someone with two, big--
A girl! He was thrown off balance by a girl! Who was holding him! Tightly!
"Saotome! It's SO good to see you!" the girl exclaimed. "You'll never believe what happened to me after taking care of the old lecher last night!"
Ranma blinked. He had no idea what the girl was talking about, but he didn't care either. He just let his hands wander briefly.
"Saotome? Why are you touching me like that?" the girl asked, then pushed him away a bit.
There was something wrong. The girl stared at the dazed Ranma confusedly for a moment. Finally, something dawned on her and she noticed the other girl with him, who was staring, open-mouthed and wide eyed.
"Whoops," she said.
Great, Aizen. The perfect thing to do. Glomp onto the WRONG Ranma...
"Uhh, excuse me?" Ranko asked.
"Ran... uh... ko?" Aizen returned.
"That's my name. I asked who you were," she replied, unamused.
"Oh come on, you don't recognize me?"
"Ranm--ko, come on! I just talked to you last night!"
Ranko blinked in response. "What?"
Aizen gestured towards a still dazed Ranma before saying her name. "Aizen!"
Ranko let her eyes go wide. She looked over towards Ranma and glared.
"Listen, you pervert, I've gotta go talk to her. Can you get to school on your own?" she asked him.
"Yes, Mommy. I'd like some milk," he replied.
Ranko shook her head sadly. "I'll take that as a yes." she reached out and grabbed Aizen's hand and yanked her off to a side road.
"Well," Akane muttered. "What do you suppose that was all about?"
Nabiki was still staring. "I... have no idea. I wasn't even aware they knew each other."
"So that girl was Ranko Satohara? She's the girl that bumped into me yesterday while I was jogging. I think she also came to class looking for Ranma Saotome, too."
Nabiki looked at her sister. "Is that so? It seems Ms. Satohara does get around, doesn't she?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing, come on, we'll be late for the fight."
Akane shook her head and sighed.
"What the hell are you doing?" Ranko asked.
"I'm going to school, what's it look like?" Aizen replied.
"But why do you look like... THAT?!"
"Hey, this wasn't really my choice, you know! I... I... well... I kinda... sorta... got... trapped here."
"Trapped? What the hell do you mean?"
"Hey, it wasn't my fault! A couple Kitsune destroyed my dimensional door!"
"I could care less if a Kappa was living in your toilet!"
"Hey, leave Kai out of this! He's within his rights in there!"
Ranko shook her head. "Fine, you're trapped. But what were you doing here like THAT in the first place?!"
"Well, you wanted me to handle Happosai, right?"
Ranko's jaw dropped. "You... handled him?"
"What did you do?"
"Well, I thought this was rather clever myself. I sent him to China to find something called the Reversal Jewel. Pretty clever, eh?"
Ranko's jaw dropped even further towards the ground. "You WHAT?!"
"Relax, it's been lost to the kami for generations. Everyone thinks it was destroyed a long time ago."
"You IDIOT! The Reversal Jewel is still around! Cologne has it!"
"No! Cologne, hello? You up on my life or what? Cologne, the old ghoul! Matriarch of the amazons!"
Aizen blinked for a moment before reality dawned. "Oh," she said.
"Oh? Oh? Is that all you have to say? Oh?", Ranko yelled. "Do you realize what you've done!"
"Of course I do, I'm not stupid! I... uhh... refresh my memory?"
"You've just added the Amazons into the equation! And Happosai will come back with tonnes of them on his tail! If I end up having to fight any of them, it's not gonna be pretty!"
Aizen shook his head. "Relax, it's not like you'll be added into this."
"Look, my life is messed up enough as it is back in my world, I won't have you do this to this Ranma!"
"Well, I... Look, I'll do my research next time... I'll send him to... Phoenix Mountain to get a magic egg, how about that?"
"Saffron and Kima."
"Fine... then the Musk to get the locking ladle!"
"Herb, Lime and Mint."
"Boy, you do get around, don't you?"
"Such a wonder, to gaze upon your gracefulness in defeating those who are unworthy to you, Akane Tendo," Tatewaki said as he took up a kendo stance. "And now I challenge you, to earn the path to your heart, so that I may love, and be loved under more public circumstance."
Akane stood and watched, un amused as ever. "Fine,
whatever." She said.
Kuno lunged towards Akane with amazing speed. "Forgive me should I harm you, Akane Tendo," he yelled, "For it is love that makes me do so!"
All it took was a foot to a face, and Kuno was flat on his back. Akane had barely even worked up a sweat.
"Well, that took even shorter than usual," Nabiki grinned from the sidelines.
Akane merely shrugged and continued her way into class. Nabiki stood behind, shaking her head at the unconscious Kuno.
A moment later, two more arrivals walked into the schoolyard. One of them looked around confusedly at the scores of unconscious boys.
"What'd I miss?" Aizen asked.
Ranko laughed. "I guess because I wasn't around to get engaged to her, the fights kept going."
"You really do your research, don't you?"
Just out of earshot, Nabiki yelled at the two of them. Ranko picked up the sound and ran over to her, dragging Aizen behind them.
"Give me a hand here, would you?" Nabiki asked, pulling on Kuno's arm.
Ranko shrugged and heft Kuno over her shoulder, and began to walk as if he were as light as a school bag.
Aizen just shrugged and followed, while Nabiki stared incredulously.
"My love," he muttered in his sleep. "Hath forsaken me."
"Is he always like this?" Aizen asked. "He talks like Shakespeare or something."
"Yeah, he's always challenging my sister. It gets annoying after a while," Nabiki replied.
Ranko merely shrugged. "I could care less. I'm gonna head to class, meet you there, Aizen."
"Oh, Ranko," Nabiki called. "One more thing, I need to talk to you after school."
Ranko blinked. "About what?"
"Just someone named Takao Satohara, nothing too important."
Ranko tensed up. "Uhh... okay." Was all she could answer with. A moment later, she was off to class.
Aizen continued to hover around Kuno's head and stare. "Gods, these shoes sure leave an impression."
The haziness had enveloped him. For how long, he was unsure, but it had nonetheless.
But any haziness given to him so gracefully by one who loved him, and whom he loved in return was well worth it.
Tatewaki Kuno reveled in his haziness and disorientation.
What was that? Tatewaki could have sworn he heard something. A singsong voice that cut through to his very heart. He opened his eyes.
Through the haziness he could see a beauteous vision, surrounded by white. She had black, flowing hair and the face of an angel.
Which is what she was. He was sure of it. The vision he saw before him was that of an angel, or goddess.
That was it. What he had heard earlier. She was quite obviously the goddess of love, come to Tatewaki to deliver unto him her love.
Of course, had Tatewaki known what she had really said, it really wouldn't have made a difference.
"My... Goddess," he muttered.
Aizen backed away involuntarily. "I... uhh... don't like the sound of that."
Nabiki smirked. This would be interesting.
Aizen looked around frantically as Kuno began to stir around. "I'd.. uhh.. better get to class..."
Nabiki did all she could to keep from chuckling.
Aizen was out the door in a matter of seconds.
"Well, Kuno-baby, looks like you missed out again."
"Oh... Crepes..." he muttered.